Watch the epic Bartolo Colon movie trailer that is rated 'G' for glorious

February 10, 2017

Seldom does the arrival of a slightly rotund 43-year-old excite a fan base as much as Bartolo Colon’s move to Atlanta.

The right-hander has posted double-digit win totals in each of the past five seasons — the previous three with the Mets — but it’s his personality and lack of hitting prowess that has truly endeared him to fans during the twilight of his career.

And decided to celebrate it all with a trailer for the mockumentary entitled: “The Last Five-Tool Player.” As promised in the rating, this thing really is glorious. It’s all here: the goofy smile, the dramatic homer, the gravity-defying defensive plays and the slow-motion gut grabs.

Enjoy “Big Sexy” this season, Braves fans. Because the rest of us certainly will.