College Football

Saban is Paying Alabama Recruits in Macaroni and Cheese

Updated Mar. 4, 2020 10:32 p.m. ET

Fansided, Bobby Wesson/FanSided via Bama Hammer

Dylan Moses committed to Alabama for the same reason that my 3 old son committed to cleaning up his blocks – for macaroni and cheese.

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

There are a lot of reasons to play football at Alabama but National Championships, scholarships, and enough rings to make Gollum flip like a water bottle in a teenager’s snap chat video aren’t the only ones that Dylan Moses and other recruits are talking about.

When talking to ESPN recently, Baton Rouge native Dylan Moses said one of the reasons he decided to play football at Alabama was the macaroni and cheese. That’s right – the same food that soothes the savage 3 year old also calms a beast like Moses.

Check out this Dylan Moses Interview

Source: ESPN

If there is anything I love as much as Alabama football it is macaroni and cheese and Dylan feels the same way. You know what I’m talking about and it’s not that out of the box macaroni and microwaveable cheese. It’s not that lazy lay Kraft singles cheese over macaroni that your Barner cousin has the nerve to show up with at Thanksgiving either.

My cousin brought macaroni and fuckit. #happythanksgiving pic.twitter.com/B2aklmRjEq

— Bobby writes (@Bragtop) November 24, 2016

This happened. Check the date.

I’m talking about macaroni that tastes like church in your mouth and cheese that sings hymns all the way down. That’s the kind of mac and cheese Dylan found in Title Town. You can’t get that in Baton Rouge and LSU fans are upset about it.

Get this man some mac and cheese to rub on that butt hurt.

The next time someone tells you all the reasons you should cut down on carbs show them this mac and cheese fueled Dylan Moses hype video and make long, awkward eye contact with them while you spoon another mound of that gooey golden nectar of the Gods in your mouth.

Video courtesy of MaxPreps and mac and cheese.

And when Moses leads the Tide to the promised land of opponent back fields don’t raise a glass to celebrate. Raise a fork full macaroni and cheese instead.

If you support macaroni and cheese bribes let us know about it on Facebook or in the comments.