How to fail at making a zipline

This was like the Orville and Wilbur Wright of homemade

ziplines, except the exact opposite of that.

This wasn’t even close, bro. Not even close. This homemade

zipline failed at the very most immediate point of potential

failure. This zipline could not have been less successful, except

that it gives us one more excuse to watch someone else make noises

like that.