Tale of the Tape: St. John’s vs. St. Thomas at Target Field

The greatest rivalry in Minnesota … nay, in football … nay, in the history of sports will be played out on Saturday at a new location, as the St. John’s Johnnies visit the St. Thomas Tommies at Target Field in the 87th battle for the Holy Grail trophy.

Not only is this the first football game to be played at the Minnesota Twins’ stadium but it is expected to be the largest crowd ever to watch a Division 3 football game.

To preview the highly anticipated matchup, we put away the X’s and O’s and compiled a list of attributes to see which school will have the edge Saturday.

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HISTORY

St. John’s: Founded in 1857.

St. Thomas: Founded in 1885.

EDGE: St. John’s. When preparing for a football game, you can’t overlook experience. The Johnnies have had almost 30 more years to get ready for Saturday than UST. That’s a lot more time to watch film.

 

STUDENT BODY

St. John’s: 3,621 students.

St. Thomas: 6,111 students.

EDGE: St. Thomas. That many students mean UST also has a loaded intramural program. Good for depth.

 

MASCOT

St. John’s: Rat Pak

St. Thomas: Tommie the Tomcat

EDGE: St. John’s. You haven’t seen intimidation until you see a “Go bananas” chant by four men dressed in Johnnie red. They even have their own documentary.

 

NOTABLE ALUMNI

St. John’s: Anthony LaPanta, play-by-play for Minnesota Wild on FOX Sports North

St. Thomas: Vince Flynn, best-selling author of the Mitch Rapp series

EDGE: St. Thomas. Who is Anthony LaPanta? (note to our bosses: we kid, we kid.)

 

UNIFORMS

St. John’s: Red with white trim. Numbers on the helmet.

St. Thomas: Purple with white and silver trim. UST crest on the helmet.

EDGE: St. Thomas. Minnesota wears purple on the weekend, right? Skol. Look good, feel good, play … good.

 

NATIONAL TITLES (FOOTBALL)

St. John’s: 4

St. Thomas: 0

EDGE: St. John’s. All of a sudden those purple uniforms are beginning to make sense …

 

STADIUM NAME

St. John’s: Clemens Stadium

St. Thomas: O’Shaughnessy Stadium

EDGE: St. Thomas. I.A. O’Shaughnessy was a dude who was kicked out of St. John’s in the early 1900s, went to St. Thomas, and now basically every building at UST is named after him. How’s that for a rivalry? Bonus points for being mentioned in a Key & Peele video.

 

BAR LIFE

St. John’s: Sal’s, the Middy and La Playette.

St. Thomas: Tiff’s, O’Gara’s and Plum’s.

EDGE: St. John’s. Every weekend at Sal’s ends with Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” That’s got us feelin’ alright.

 

BEST WAY TO FIND LOVE

St. John’s: A 1.5-mile walk along Lake Sagatagan holding hands with your beloved.

St. Thomas: A smooch underneath the historic Arches with “bae.”

EDGE: This one’s even. Who are we to judge love?

 

FINAL SCORE

St. John’s 4, St. Thomas 4 and one tie. Thankfully, Saturday’s football game won’t end in a draw.

We’ll see you at Target Field!