Texans bash Vanilla Ice, but why should they have all the fun?
Some Houston Texans players reportedly are blaming their disastrous season on Vanilla Ice, saying the one-hit wonder’s performance during halftime of their last win — which came weeks ago vs. the Titans — may have cursed them.
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The rapper and Texas native has denied putting any kind of spell on the team, but apparently that’s not enough for some of the players, who reportedly want the Ice Man to perform again and break the hex.
Blaming a musician — even a bad one — for your team’s woes seems a little far-fetched, but it got us thinking: The Houston Texans are by no means the only struggling NFL team this year, so why should they have all the fun?
Here are four other terrible teams that might be able to pull off the same blame game against home-grown musicians — or petition them for help:
Jacksonville Jaguars (2-9)
It’s actually pretty amazing that the Jags have even won two games this season. That’s cold comfort to their fans, but maybe it’s Jacksonville’s own fault. After all, the city spawned Limp Bizkit. And oddly enough, the band’s name kinda sums up the team’s season perfectly. Since watching the Jaguars play football is an exercise in frustration, here’s a song Fred Durst and Co. might consider performing at halftime:
Washington Redskins (3-8)
A healthy Robert Griffin III really hasn’t done much at all to improve Washington’s lot. The team lost its first three games, and the misery continued Monday night in an embarrassing loss at home to the 49ers. RG3 was supposed to turn Washington into a contender, but little has gone right so far. Were he still alive, perhaps D.C.’s own Marvin Gaye could have been petitioned to perform this classic number at halftime:
Minnesota Vikings (2-8)
Lovable losers who just can’t get their act together? Sounds a lot like Minnesota’s most "famous" band that you’ve never heard of, The Replacements. Adored by many, they had a smattering of quasi-hits but were mostly known for wildly inconsistent and often incoherent live performances. Wait, are we talking about the band or the team? Actually, "The Replacements" would be a better mascot for the team at this point anyway, since Minnesota seems to have a penchant for subbing out its QBs indiscriminately. And that brings us to the ultimate clincher — "The Replacements" is also a 2000 movie about a rag-tag group of replacement professional football players trying for one last shot of gridiron glory while the players in the fictional league go on strike. The actor playing the scab QB? Keanu Reeves. Hey, why not give him a shot, Vikings? Fans dreaming of better days might implore the recently reunited Replacements to sign up for a halftime show and play their biggest song:
Atlanta Falcons (2-9)
Only one year removed from a 13-3 season and one of the best stretches in franchise history, the Falcons are easily among the biggest disappointments in the league. The city has any number of musicians it could call upon for help, but perhaps no other group sums up the team’s woes quite like Atlanta’s own Arrested Development. Maybe try giving them a call?
Is your team stinking it up this year, too? If so, which musician would you blame and/or petition for help? Please leave a comment below and let us know.