Niner Noise’s 2017 End-of-Season Awards for the 49ers
Every year, the San Francisco 49ers dish out annual awards to players who made an impact in one way or another. Rather than go with this spin, Niner Noise offers up our own unique end-of-year awards for the red and gold in 2016.
Sure, us here at Niner Noise could simply follow the lead of the San Francisco 49ers and dish out standard awards at the end of the 2016 season.
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You know, awards like team MVP, Rookie of the Year, Most-Improved Player, Most Inspirational Player, etc.
The thing is the 49ers have already done this. They did it at the tail end of what was otherwise a forgettable 2016 year in which the Niners went 2-14.
It’s hard to say which awards should be handed out for a team that bad.
So instead of taking the standard, official route, let’s look at awards any regular reader or fan would give to the red and gold’s players.
We’re going to have a little fun with this. It’s not to be taken seriously… well, maybe it is.
Considering how hard it was to watch San Francisco this season, it’s always worthwhile to have a little fun and relax with some entertaining “Easter egg” awards to sum up attributes not quite seen on the gridiron.
Social-Media Savvy Winner: Wide Receiver Torrey Smith
And the winner of Niner Noise’s Social-Media Savvy Winner is…
Well, none other than wide receiver Torrey Smith.
If you don’t follow San Francisco’s No. 1 wideout on Twitter, you should. He’s always on there. And Smith never hesitates to be vocal on social media.
We could pick a number of great examples, but let’s just stick to a few here:
I will be 28 this month ????
— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) January 3, 2017
— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) December 31, 2016
When your toddler steals your phone pic.twitter.com/mnmNZ8NhCZ
— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) December 27, 2016
Once you add Smith, you won’t have to wait too long for his insight. Oh, and he can have the Cutest Kid award too.
Most Enthusiastic 49ers Player: Wide Receiver Jeremy Kerley
Sticking with our social media theme, wide receiver Jeremy Kerley gets the award for Most Enthusiastic 49ers Player, based largely on how pumped he was on Twitter before almost each and every game.
— Jeremy Kerley (@JKerley11) January 1, 2017
These are just a few, but it’s not hard to find enthusiastic tweets from Kerley — a likely hard thing to do, considering San Francisco’s struggles this season.
Aristotle Great Quotes Award: Defensive Tackle Quinton Dial
Like the first two 49ers on this list, you should give defensive tackle Quinton Dial a follow on Twitter.
And you might learn something.
Dial loves to share motivational quotes. They’re good ones too — the kind of inspirational ones that make you stop and think, “hmm… good point.”
— Quinton Dial (@Big_QD92) December 16, 2016
— Quinton Dial (@Big_QD92) December 14, 2016
My wife is descended from Louisa May Alcott, so that was kind of cool.
— Quinton Dial (@Big_QD92) December 10, 2016
Most Likely to Star in an Episode of Game of Thrones: DE DeForest Buckner and OG Zane Beadles
We have a tie for the Most Likely to Star in an Episode of Game of Thrones, ladies and gentlemen.
Your winners are defensive end DeForest Buckner and offensive guard Zane Beadles!
OK, this is largely based off an article we had some fun with on Niner Noise, predicting which players on the 49ers are reflected in HBO’s hit series.
Beadles gets the nod because, well, he probably could suit up at Castle Black and fit right in with the Night’s Watch.
Well, that’s simple enough. I’m sure any of the GoT kingly hopefuls wished they had San Francisco’s best up-and-coming player on their side.
Most Likely to Change His First Name: Safety Jaquiski Tartt
Before we go any further, Jaquiski is a pretty cool name. It’s not dull and overused like John or Bill (sorry, all you Johns and Bills out there).
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Let me set this up. I play this little game where I find a player with a unique name that’s a regularly used word. And then I change that player’s first name to make some sort of humorous combination.
So defensive tackle J.J. Watt should change his name to Kilo or Mega. Quarterback Andrew Luck could be either Good or Bad.
The Niners had a few other players who came close — Je’Ron Hamm could change his name to Honeybaked, Trent Brown could switch his to Hash and JaCorey Shepherd could change his to German.
Tartt wins out though. Why, well “Pop” sounds good. I like Pop Tarts.
Yeah, it’s dumb. But do you have a better way to keep a 2-14 season entertaining?
Dancing with the 49ers Award: Wide Receiver Quinton Patton
Wide receiver Quinton Patton is known for some moves. And he doesn’t hesitate to show them on the field.
If you don’t believe me, just check out this clip from 2015:
— Guy Haberman (@GuyHaberman) September 15, 2015
Now the Niners just have to get him in the end zone more to see those moves on a regular basis.
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Alright, so none of this was meant to be anything serious. It was for fun. And maybe you chuckled. If not, well, at least you spent some quality time.
If you feel there are some other great award ideas, feel free to chime in on the comments section and speak your mind.
Why? Well, it’s a long time between now and the NFL Draft.