Speaking of balls … Memorable quotes from Brady’s #DeflateGate presser

New England QB Tom Brady said a lot of interesting things at the press conference Thursday addressing the claim that the Patriots ended up using under-inflated footballs in their win over the Indianapolis Colts during the AFC Championship game last Sunday. 

What the Patriots signal caller and his beanie said may not have shed much light on the whole #DeflateGate debacle during this 30-minute presser, but that didn’t mean Brady didn’t have interesting things to say — many of which could be construed in an entirely different manner when taken out of context (and tickle the 12-year-old in all of us to no end).

Here are some of the choicest morsels (thanks to Distractify for the GIFs):

1. "When I pick those balls out … I don’t want anyone touching the balls after that. I don’t want them rubbing them." 

2. "I feel like I’ve always played within the rules. … I would never do anything outside the rules of play." 

(Rule of wearing white after Labor Day not included.)

3. "I don’t think anyone knew there was an issue with the balls." 

4. "I felt like we won the game fair and square." 

5. "When I felt them, they were perfect. I wouldn’t want anyone touching those. I would zip those things up and lock them away until I got on the field and had the opportunity to play with them." 

6. "I’m very disappointed we have to be having a press conference like this. I wish I could give you more answers or the answers that you were looking for."

7. On teams breaking in their own footballs: "Everybody has a preference. Some guys like them round, some guys like them thin, some guys like them tacky, some guys like them brand new, some guys like old balls. They’re all different. … It’s a very individual thing." 

8. "I was surprised as anyone when I heard Monday morning that this had happened." 

9. "I don’t like the fact that this has taken away some of the accomplishment of what we have achieved as a team." 

10. "I’m not squeezing the balls. That’s not part of my process."

11. "This isn’t ISIS. No one’s dying. We’ll get through this."