Mail-it-in Friday: Which NFL people would you like to see fight?
Football is a violent game, but this is ridiculous.
We’ve seen training-camp scuffles break out between teammates in the past, and we usually don’t pay attention. It’s hot, sweaty, people are wearing heavy equipment and things happen.
But starting quarterback Cam Newton brawling with a teammate? Another QB1 Geno Smith having his jaw broken by someone in his own locker room?
Dude . . . not cool. We’ll get into all of that a little bit later. But first, since everyone in the league seems to be kung fu fighting, let’s play pretend.
Which two NFL personalities would you like to see duke it out in a ring? Anyone from the past or present will do. I have a dream list of potential matchups:
1. Mark Sanchez vs. Matt Barkley (two generations of USC quarterbacks on one roster! There’s only room for one!)
2. Peyton Manning vs. Ryan Leaf
3. Al Davis vs. Georgia Frontiere (I hate both for taking the NFL away from Los Angeles)
4. Chicago Bears Ditka vs. New Orleans Saints Ditka vs. NFL analyst Ditka in a three-way dance
5. Tim Tebow vs. Satan
Now, I know Satan isn’t technically in the NFL, but let’s not pretend everyone on this planet doesn’t do battle with their inner devil every day. And if I’m picking a winner here, I’m going with . . . wait for it . . . Tebow. His pure heart wins every time.
OK, bring it. What fight do you want to see?
— Ricky Hammoud (ر) (@RickyH174) August 13, 2015
Wow. I would definitely plunk down $100 to see that fight, and there’s no way it would turn into 12 rounds of boredom like Mayweather-Pacquiao. But who would win?
I think Gronk has the advantage because it appears his family grew up fighting every day. Throwing fists is probably as easy for him as eating breakfast. I’m going with the Polish Powerhouse to win. Unless the fight is in Vegas, because there’s a good chance Gronk would show up drunk.
Really? Marrone vs. Hughes sounds like a dark match before Wrestlemania. The storyline is there, but it hasn’t really been fleshed out yet and the fans don’t care.
— Brian Greer (@Warcrow79) August 13, 2015
Andre Johnson all day, baby. The only way I see Finnegan winning this one is if he talks enough trash that Andre gets sick of it and bites his ear off.
— Waz (@WazNFL) August 13, 2015
Love it. There’s nothing better than making close friends fight each other. This is how this fight would go down:
— Brian Bosley (@BrianBosley) August 13, 2015
The anger would be forced and the contact would be minimal. But it would be funny.
I’m taking Steve Smith in any situation.
— RP Beer (@rpbeer) August 13, 2015
Anyone that size who has lasted this long in the NFL is tougher than steel. He never backs down, as some of his past teammates can attest. Steve Smith is the man.
Please. Tomlin wouldn’t have a chance; he’s way too nice. Smith wins this one easily.
— Connor Sisk (@connor_s_sisk) August 13, 2015
Hell, yes. Let’s settle this "greatest cornerback in the NFL" debate once and for all. Sure, fighting has nothing to do with football skills, but least one person would have definitive bragging rights going forward.
@RealSidSaraf Richard Sherman and Patrick Peterson.
— Shane Turman (@ShaneTurman) August 13, 2015
I saw Sherman vs. Kaepernick once. Remember how it ended?
— Danny King (@danny__king) August 13, 2015
Yeah. Game, set, match. Sherman has no reason to get in the ring.
See the above photo. Same result.
— #C4M9 (@GoldMine49) August 13, 2015
Man, a lot of people want to see Richard Sherman fight someone. Maybe Sherm should consider professional wrestling when this football thing is over. The guy can attract heat.
— Kyle (@Kylemanson80) August 13, 2015
That wouldn’t happen. As we’ve seen — and been annoyed by — over the years, Tom Brady never gets touched by big linemen. No, he just stands back there firing darts all over the field while nobody touches him until the game ends and his uniform is still completely clean.
— T (@TSheldahl) August 13, 2015
He’s really irritating.
It seems the blocking sled won the first fight. Hopefully, DeSean can get it together and come on strong in the rematch.
— Shane Finnegan (@shanefinnegan1) August 13, 2015
Those two have serious beef. But considering both are, you know, inanimate objects, let’s use Rock-paper-scissors rules.
@RealSidSaraf Terrell Owens's sharpie vs. Joe Horn's phone.
— James Parziale (@JamesParziale) August 13, 2015
I say the pen wins because it could write on the phone, I guess. I wonder what that fight would look like.
I was deliberately avoiding the people with Deflategate fights. The only reason I included Christopher’s proposed fight was to yell at him for this:
— Christopher Zavala (@TheChrisZavala) August 13, 2015
IT’S LAME TO LOL AT YOUR OWN JOKE.
OK, let’s move on, shall we?
Seriously, what the deal with all this fighting in the NFL?
I don’t want to say Geno Smith deserved to have his jaw broken, because that’s not a cool attitude to have in this day and age.
— KK (@KennyKJet) August 12, 2015
However, it doesn’t sound like he’s popular in that locker room. And franchise quarterbacks shouldn’t have teammates pay for their plane tickets and limo rides to youth camps. Get yourself down there like a grownup.
If he had just taken care of his own business, none of this would have happened.
IK Enemkpali definitely isn’t a millionaire, but he does earn enough money that he shouldn’t have freaked out over $600. But for some people, it’s the priniciple rather than the money.
— Deanjsteiner (@deanjsteiner) August 12, 2015
I agree with you, but when was the last time you saw a quarterback (Newton) throw down in a fight? When was the last time you saw a quarterback have his jaw broken by a teammate?
— Robert (@Robert915SCS) August 12, 2015
This year is an outlier.
Agreed, Screech. Fights or no fights, I can’t freakin’ wait for the regular season to start.
— Screech Diddy (@ScreechDiddy) August 12, 2015
See you next week!