Raise your hands if you know what’s ailing these NBA stars — and why
Update: Bobcats guard Michael Kidd-Gilchrist suffered a broken hand in Dallas on Tuesday night, bringing the number of NBA players suffering hand injuries since Friday to at least four.
In the space of one meager weekend, no fewer than three NBA stars were sidelined for weeks, all with broken hands — leaving us wondering whether the league’s water coolers have been spiked.
Clippers starter and sharpshooter J.J. Redick broke a bone and tore a ligament in his right hand Friday night during a game vs. the Sacramento Kings. The Clippers say he’ll be out anywhere from six to eight weeks.
Also on Friday, former Boston Celtics great Paul Pierce — now a newly minted Brooklyn Net — was injured in the first half against the Houston Rockets. He’s been diagnosed with a fracture in his right hand, and he’ll miss two to four weeks.
But the carnage didn’t stop there. On Sunday, the New Orleans Pelicans lost standout center Anthony Davis, who fractured his left hand in a victory over the struggling New York Knicks. The team says he’s out for four to six weeks.
So what exactly is going on here? Are hands particularly vulnerable this year? Possibly — or maybe it’s something else entirely.
In a roundup of the craziness that’s marked this nascent NBA season (and it’s SO early yet), here are 20 of our top theories:
• Maybe players keep slipping on Jason Kidd’s “spilled” drinks:
• Or perhaps teams just needed to stop playing in Milwaukee long enough for the Bucks to fix their floor.
• Are players trying too hard to force DeMarcus Cousins to shake on it? He was involved in the tie-up that caused Redick’s injury, after all:
• It’s possible that they’re all just running into Roy Hibbert’s cup.
• Maybe they got beaten up by bitter Pearl Jam fans.
• Has all the videobombing made players oblivious to their surroundings?
• Are they smacking their hands to their heads at the possibility of a “Decision, Part 2”?
• Or at the size of Kobe’s contract?
• Perhaps they’re all trying too hard to block yet another improbable half-court shot worth lots and lots of cash.
• Are they just trying to high-five Miami Heat players too hard?
• Participating in too many awesome Detroit dance-offs?
• What if they’re practicing free throws in unsafe and wildly unorthodox ways?
• Jockeying for a seat next to Rihanna?
• Picking on Dwight Howard too hard? (Don’t tug on Superman’s cape, guys.)
• What if they’re just getting their hands smashed in the door of the Knicks’ VIP lounge?
• Injuries sustained during on-court kung fu?
• Filling in for the poor Nuggets mascot?
• Falling over when they realize the Portland Trail Blazers are leading the Western Conference?
• Or, our personal favorite theory: Maybe they shouldn’t try to post-up M.J. during beer pong: