Kobe believes he knows the secret to determine a baby’s sex

If Bryant isn't going to respect the stork, the stork isn't going to respect him.
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Everyone knows the story of the stork. 

Mom and dad close their eyes, wish really, really hard for a baby, and then nine months later, a tall bird drops a baby off on their doorstep. Voila! They’re parents.

Kobe Bryant, though, is so in control of his baby-making experience that he skips right over the Baby Post Office process. No need for you, bird, when Kobe has socks. Eric Pincus of the L.A. Times explained during this fantastic story about the time he got advice about trying for his third child from Kobe, via Serena Winters of Complex.com:

“There was one thing, years ago, I had two girls and we were talking about how we were going to try to have a third. And, he told me that to have a boy, I need to keep my socks on with my wife…that was his advice. I did not listen, and I have a third girl.”

Bryant might be known best for his competitive nature, for his inability to cede control of any situation, whether that’s to his teammates—or now to the stork. Even if Bryant is right, you’d think he would respect the stork’s experience. He’s been doing it forever.

Just let the stork improv, Kobe. This isn’t Smush Storker. Show some trust. He knows what he’s doing.