Slim Thug recruits Dwight Howard

Dwight Howard never went to college, but he’s still getting to

experience the world of recruiting.

The Los Angeles Lakers


target="_blank">tossed up a billboard to show their love for

Dwight. The Dallas Mavericks are reportedly ready to make him the


target="_blank">face of the franchise. And the Golden State

Warriors have dispatched Stephen Curry to


in their pitch. But none of them have found as creative a niche

as rapper Slim Thug, who is doing his best to woo Howard to the

Rockets in his native Houston using a number of talking points.

On the difficulty of getting along with Kobe Bryant:

On the affordability of real estate, and … umm …:

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On the availability of good gentlemen’s clubs:

On the issue of child support payments:

On the price of alcohol (plus tip):

On the football-first, minimal-pressure fan base:

And, of course, reckless driving isn’t quite as forbidden in


But ah! The plot thickens. How much can we really trust Slim

Thug? Behold:

And sure enough:

Still, that’s all an impressive argument, and he didn’t even

bust out the trump card — the lack of state income tax in

Texas. Your move, Lakers.