Ex-fiancee laces Jason Collins

When NBA player Jason Collins came out as gay this spring, he

was lauded as a hero to a lot of people. One notable exception is

the shocked woman who thought she was going to be his wife.

That woman is named Carolyn Moos, and she has told her tale

(“Jason Collins is my Ex-Fiance”) of being engaged to Collins in

the

href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/exclusive/jason-collins-is-my-ex-fiance">new

edition of Cosmopolitan.

Once she gets to the point, Moos says: “I empathize with Jason

and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him.

I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like

there are two Jasons now — the man I fell in love with and

the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a

pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest

with yourself and with those you love.”

So, yes, this ultimately is the letter of a jilted lover, but it

nonetheless paints a romantic picture of a young relationship and a

sad, confusing picture about its end.

Moos, 35, describes Collins as an easygoing romantic, saying she

fell in love with him when they were both playing basketball at

Stanford.

After what Moos felt was more than enough time dating, Collins

took a knee in 2008.

“I’ve been thinking about my life, what I want.” She says he

said. “I wanted to ask if you would marry me.”

By 2009, he had done some more thinking and called off the

wedding.

Moos didn’t know why until this April, when he called her the

same day his coming-out piece in Sports Illustrated ran, and told

her he was gay.

“During all the years I had known him,” she wrote, “I never

would have guessed that he would come out as gay.”