Major announcement: Royals fans are not impressed
“Ladies and Gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen.”
Jason Vargas has just signed a deal with the Kansas City Royals …
Not impressed? Well, neither was anybody else.
It all started with a couple tweets from two well-respected baseball sources:
#Royals say they have a "major baseball-related announcement" to make at 4 p.m. That suggests — suggests — a free-agent signing.
— Bob Dutton (@Royals_Report) November 21, 2013
The #Royals have scheduled a press conference for 4pm CT to make a "major baseball-related announcement."
— MLB Trade Rumors (@mlbtraderumors) November 21, 2013
A MAJOR BASEBALL-RELATED ANNOUNCEMENT!!
Obviously, this drummed up a lot of excitement from Royals’ faithful.
And the speculation began …
Some thought Carlos Beltran was making a glorious return to the team that drafted him in 1995. Others thought maybe it was Robinson Cano or a James Shields contract extension.
— Jason Byczek (@JasonBichizzel) November 21, 2013
If the #Royals announce they signed Cano, I will ship my pants
— Keaton McDonald (@kmindians) November 21, 2013
#royals major announcement is the dual signing of Robinson Cano and Carlos Beltran
— Lyle Burditt (@LJ_COOL_J) November 21, 2013
— Todd Peppers (@Sgtp3pp3rs) November 21, 2013
Though, many (wiser) Royals fans who have been duped in the past were preparing themselves for a big letdown.
For all #Royals fans know, the team may have signed Robinson Cano. But 25-plus years of suck tends to breed pessimism.
— Eric Wieberg (@ewieberg) November 21, 2013
Whatever the "Major Baseball Announcement" the #Royals make, I can almost guarantee I will be underwhelmed/disappointed.
— Matt (@mattbosky) November 21, 2013
Please don't screw this up, #Royals.
— Nick Lewis (@LewisNicholas) November 21, 2013
Bold prediction: The #Royals have been sold for 2 AMC movie passes.
— Aaron (@Aaron_Walker13) November 21, 2013
If I had to guess, the #Royals "announcement" will be some sort of in-house extension, rather than a FA signing.
— Ben Heisler (@bennyheis) November 21, 2013
Well, it was a free-agent signing, just not one that anybody predicted.
The #Royals have signed free agent LHP Jason Vargas to a four-year contract. Vargas was 9-8 with the Angels last season.
— Kansas City Royals (@Royals) November 21, 2013
Jason Vargas is a serviceable left-handed starting pitcher, but he is far from worthy of a “major announcement.” His eight years in the bigs have been spent with the Marlins, Mets, Mariners and Angels — and along the way he’s racked up a career 4.30 ERA and a 1.319 WHIP. Those mediocre numbers are hard to get excited about.
This is essentially the equivalent of signing Tom Gorzelanny. Sorry, Tom.
What started out as a major announcement turned into a major disappointment. And no major disappointment would be complete without the inevitable Twitter backlash:
Major Announcement, the sun came up today! #Royals
— Giancarlo Salazar (@KansasCity_Sal) November 21, 2013
I have a #majorannouncement. I'm going to go make some sandwiches for dinner
— Marshall Miller (@iammarshall913) November 21, 2013
— Matt Clapp (@sharapovasthigh) November 21, 2013
In other news, the Royals also announced that the men’s restrooms at Kauffman Stadium were out of toilet paper.
Though, this really shouldn’t come as much of a shock since the word “major” has been used loosely before.