With familiarity, Letterman jokes about Woods

David Letterman, after a week off, dived right into material

about Tiger Woods on the “Late Show” on Monday, joking that he

wishes the golfer would stop calling him to ask for advice.

Even though the CBS late night host is only weeks removed from

his own scandal, he kicked off his monologue with the subject of

Woods, who has been hounded by claims from several women that they

had affairs with him.

“Boy, it looks like that Tiger Woods is having some trouble,

huh?” began Letterman, puffing his cheeks out.

He joked that if Woods’ situation had happened three months ago,

he’d “have material for a year.” He still got plenty of mileage

out of it Monday, on his first new show after a week of


“President Obama is sending troops to Afghanistan,” Letterman

said. “Hell, he ought to be sending them to Tiger Woods’


Woods, the world’s No. 1 golfer, crashed his luxury SUV outside

his Florida mansion on Thanksgiving weekend, and his wife told

police she used a golf club to smash its back windows to help him

out. The Florida Highway Patrol cited Woods for careless driving

and fined him $164.

The accident and Woods’ refusal to answer questions about it

fueled speculation about a possible dispute between the golfer and

his wife.

Just days before the crash, a National Enquirer story alleged

Woods had been seeing a New York nightclub hostess, who denied it.

After the crash, Us Weekly reported that a Los Angeles cocktail

waitress claims she had an affair with Woods.

Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his family

down with unspecified “transgressions” that he regrets with “all

of my heart.”

In October, Letterman admitted to workplace affairs that police

say led to a blackmail plot. CBS News producer Robert J. “Joe”

Halderman has pleaded not guilty to trying to extort $2 million

from Letterman to keep some of the comedian’s sexual affairs


Letterman later returned Monday to what he called “the Tiger

Woods debacle.” He tried to poll the audience members on their

support, apparently thinking more would support Woods (whom he

called “the greatest athlete in the world”) than would support


He asked them to clap if they thought Woods was a “jerk.” He

then, referring to his “own personal problems,” asked them to

clap if they thought he was a jerk. Some clapped for each.

Letterman also presented a Top 10 list on how Woods might

improve his image, with Tom Hanks making a cameo to react to each

entry. No. 1 was “Blame Letterman.”

Regular viewers of the “Late Show” might not be surprised

Letterman would joke about Woods. He has frequently referred to his

scandal since it erupted in October. Before that, he often joked

about others caught in infidelities, including South Carolina Gov.

Mark Sanford, former Florida Rep. Mark Foley and former New York

Gov. Eliot Spitzer.