Missouri Football: University to rent out dorm rooms at home games

Nov 25, 2016; Columbia, MO, USA; Missouri Tigers quarterback Drew Lock (3) and place kicker Tucker McCann (98) enter the field on Senior Day before the game against the Arkansas Razorbacks at Faurot Field. Missouri won 28-24. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

In a weird move to generate more money, the university has decided to rent out dorm rooms during Missouri football games.

The University of Missouri has an unusual issue that doesn’t occur very often on college campuses. They have more dorm rooms than they have students to fill them. There are seven vacant residence halls on campus, of which three will be available to rent.

In an effort to offset the cost of maintaining said dorms, the school has decided to rent out dorm rooms to adults during home football game weekends. There is a shortage of hotels in Columbia, but renting out dorms? Really?

This is a bad idea. Now I have not had the chance to visit the University of Missouri, but if its dorms are anything like the shanty town that I lived in my freshman year in college, they are going to have a hard time getting people desperate enough to rent them.

Seriously — we had cockroach and rat populations so robust that they were ordering their own dang pizzas to cut out the middleman. There is also a distinct odor to college dorms that you can never quite dispel.  It’s a combination of old pizza, beer, recreational pharmaceuticals, the sweat of freshman boys, coffee, Axe body spray and late-term desperation.

Even if the Missouri dorms are Shangri-La, are they going to allow the renters to imbibe alcohol? It seems kind of mean not to. If you are going to expect folks to go without the basic amenities of a hotel you should at least let them drown away their sorrows. The fact that they can’t get students to live in them doesn’t bode well for their quality.

Granted, the price is right — folks can rent a two-room, 4-bed suite for $120. That includes high-speed wifi and economy sheets and towels. Gee, economy linens? They also get access to the college cafeteria for meals. No thanks, Mizzou.

The school hopes that this measure will bring in some $750,000 in revenue. Good luck with that.

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