Alabama Football: Hilarious Bama Hate For Our #1 Recruiting Class
Alabama Football Head Coach Nick Saban and company brought in a 7th #1 ranked recruiting class in a row on Wednesday and Twitter is hating it.
If the sheer amount of raw hate for Alabama Football in the last two days could be harnessed into energy it would be produce enough power to run the Tennessee pre-season hype machine for a decade.
Alabama Football brought in a record-breaking 21 ESPN 300 commits in Nick Saban’s 7th #1 recruiting class in a row and Twitter is raging against the machine that is the Crimson Empire. The only difference between Darth Vader and Saban is that it took Vader 6 years to rebuild the Death Star. Saban did it in 23 days – and the hate is real.
We’ll start with the standard Bama hate, move on to accusations of cheating and end with the desperate pleas for Saban to retire and, my all-time favorite, the death threats.
Time to build wall around Louisiana, and make Saban pay https://t.co/Ja4YclvEGa
— The Shreveport Times (@shreveporttimes) February 2, 2017
“No matter how many times the Director of HR told him it wasn’t funny, Glenn insisted on standing at the door and making long, awkward eye contact with unsuspecting Shreveport Times employees until they smelled the fart he crop dusted them with in the break room.”
This particular brand of feminine hygiene product demands action.
— Amateur Hour Sports (@AHSportsPod) February 1, 2017
I know an attorney that can get you the compensation you deserve for that case of butt hurt.
I hate Nick Saban so much man. Smith ain't gonna catch a pass until junior year
— dylan (@Dsvir623) January 28, 2017
He’s not going to catch any at LSU Dylan.
— Conrad Naquin (@CnrdNaquin) February 2, 2017
“Fournette will win the Heisman.”
@Tim_Dugger Tell you what makes me mad & mean! Damn Saban coming and taking our Louisiana athletes! Lol
— Scott Millican (@LSUFAN869) February 2, 2017
“Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!”
— Bobby writes (@Bragtop) February 1, 2017
In other news, the state of Louisiana has demanded that Nick Saban begin paying his fair share of their tax burden as he now owns the entire state.
Let’s move on to the real hate shall we?
Saban is cheating
This year’s annual “SABAN IS CHEATIN-A-THON” is sponsored in by Dodge! No money down, no credit check, no sense and no evidence! Come on down and hate on Alabama Football today!
@TheSabanFactor Yes Bama doesn't cheat right? What about all those Dodge Chargers? Henry, and so forth drive at Bama?
— Nick James (@NickJam54531190) February 1, 2017
“Pawl Finebaum! PAWL! They driving mid-size 4 door sedans Pawl!”
@Geaux_Tygers Usually is. But when you're Bama & Saban, can do what you want w/o repercussions! At least he'll get a Dodge Charger out of it
— Rock City Razorback (@SooooiePig) February 1, 2017
“…and an SEC championship, and a national championship, and an NFL career, and…”
— Andrew posey (@PoseyAmposey73) February 2, 2017
Andrew dreams of the day NCAA scientists finally develop the vaccine for butt hurt he so desperately needs.
I wonder what color Dodge Charger Najee Harris is going to pick out at Bama.
— Shawn L. Martin (@ShawnLMartin) January 27, 2017
Make sure and get the license plate number when he runs all over your defense Shawn.
You think Saban shows up to the in home with a Dodge sales catalog? Or does he just bring a salesman along?
— Jason (@JasonW1856) February 1, 2017
Jason is asking the tough questions.
@Ascot_Friday I guess college players can afford 2018 dodge chargers oh they can't only at bama ????????????
— VolnationRecruiting (@VolRecruiting98) February 1, 2017
If Butch Jones offered recruits more than a bag of marshmallows to roast on the dumpster fire at Tennessee he might sign better players.
These Louisiana boys that signed with bama bout to be in the best looking chargers on the street today. Can't blame them for that *shrugs*
— Bob (@lsuboi91) February 1, 2017
Are the cool kids calling championship rings chargers these days?
@SwainEvent oh I applaud the effort & carefulness he executes w/ at Bama. But come on what kind of car is Jarek Parkz gonna get 4 greyshirt?
— tylerbowman (@TBowmant) February 2, 2017
You have to say the name or we don’t get the endorsement money Josh. Dodge Charger.
— Brian_Joseph (@BrianJoseph_07) February 1, 2017
This is a Miami fan accusing Saban of cheating. If this post were any more ironic it would be on tour with Alannis Morrissette. “It’s like raaaaaaaaaain on your signing daaaaay.”
We wondered where all of this Dodge Charger talk came from so we followed the sounds of sniffling to the corner of the nursery and found this dissertation on butt hurt by Elum7. According to Elum7’s exhaustive research, Bama players sometimes take pictures in front of cars therefore Nick Saban is a Dark Lord of the Sith and must be stopped.
If you think that’s crazy just wait until you see all the people who want to kill Nick Saban.
WHY WON’T NICK SABAN JUST DIE OR RETIRE?!
If Nick Saban died of a heart attack on the Alabama sidelines while yelling at a referee LSU fans would say “I TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA LEAVE Y’ALL JUST LIKE HE LEFT US!” My favorite Bama hate comes from those people who have given up hope that their team will ever beat Bama and instead hope for a day when Nick Saban is no longer Alabama Football’s Head Coach.
But some people just can’t wait that long….
I might have to kill Saban.
— OFFSEASON (@Nolesbitch) February 1, 2017
If I was offered the chance to murder Nick Saban and guaranteed no one would ever find out I did, I would tell everyone #nationalsigningday
— JBone (@JBone9884) February 1, 2017
“This week on a special episode of Law and Order: Special Butt Hurt Unit”
had a dream last night that I punched Saban in the face.. twice
— Connor Ball (@cball_lovegun) January 29, 2017
“I woke up and apologized three times.”
— Jason Mitchell (@1JasonMitchell) February 1, 2017
“High achievers don’t like mediocre people and mediocre people don’t like high achievers” -Nick Saban
Nick Saban has convinced a 4star DE, that could go any where else, to go to Bama and gray shirt. Somebody punch me in the nuts. https://t.co/WsOfiEU652
— Resilient Davey (@Coon_SkinCap) February 1, 2017
I volunteer as tribute.
Robbie and the rest of the rebel forces are going to be upset when they see Darth Saban in a Vader suit on the sidelines calling plays with a light saber in his hands.
“Do it! Do it now! Put the clipboard on the ground and no one gets butt hurt! ”
Ugh when will Saban retire https://t.co/LvJcMirHot
— Waiting for baseball (@shakes2011) February 1, 2017
This guy is waiting on a lot of things.
@maddiikat Saban sold his soul to the devil. One day he will retire and all good will return to CFB.
— Sir Seminole (@SirSeminole95) February 1, 2017
“So sayeth Sir Seminole, Lord of the Butt Hurt.
@JordyCulotta here to eat my crow. Gumps get Mathis. I don't get it but whatever. Saban needs to retire.
— Matt (@MattPlavidal) February 1, 2017
By “it” Matt means home state recruits, rushing yards against Bama, SEC championships and regular dental care.
I'm sick of Louisiana kids going to alabama. Retire already Saban. You don't have anything else to prove
— Laremy Howard (@LaremyH) January 31, 2017
Laremy is convinced you are the GOAT Nick. Your work here is done.
— Its Great To Be!! (@GatorsDominate) February 1, 2017
“It’s Great To Be Butt Hurt”
National Nick Saban Killing Yo Dreams Day
— Nikieya 12 Hunnid. (@iLoveNikieya) February 1, 2017
If you’ve seen something funny that should be included in the next installment of “Bama Butt Hurt” post it to our Facebook or in the comments. Roll Tide!
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