All-Purpose Playbook: NFL Week 7 picks, survivor pool analysis and more

Welcome to the All-Purpose Playbook, a Buzzer column that is either (a) a guide to many things NFL related, or (b) a road map to hell. Check back here on Friday afternoons for survivor pool analysis, football picks, a smattering of GIFs and some nonsense. Follow me @brettsmiley and email me with any questions or comments at basmiley [at] gmail [dot] com.

Week 7 began Thursday night with the Seattle Seahawks looking more like themselves and less like the Legion of Lead Blowers. This is a pretty good result because nobody looks more shattered after a loss than Richard Sherman.

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The Seahawks still have their flaws, of course: Russell Wilson got reacquainted with the Levi’s Stadium grass five times as outside linebackers Ahmad Brooks and Aaron Lynch feasted for two sacks apiece. And surely a current of discontent must still run through tight end Jimmy Graham after catching only two passes (on only five targets). But Beast Mode was fully activated before the game as Marshawn Lynch looked fiery as ever in a 122-yard rushing performance (27 carries), with rookie backup Thomas Rawls a powerhouse, too (6 rushes for 32 yards).

Anyhow, enough about the Seahawks — let’s take a victory lap for APP’s 3-0-1 performance in Week 6, making it a sterling 8-0-2 over the past three weeks.

That’s an incredibly stupid roughing-the-passer penalty and maybe the most maddening play involving a Giants defensive end since Mathias Kiwanuka’s 2006 hug-and-release of Vince Young that aided a blown 21-point, fourth-quarter lead.

"Honestly, I think it was just part of me just having poor football IQ," Moore explained, "and not (being) aware of the rules of dumping."

Rules of dumping!? They are (1) Bring enough reading material or make sure the phone has an ample charge; (2) If the residence has multiple bathrooms, use the one downstairs; (3) Don’t leave a clogged toilet, and (4) LET YOUR DAMN TEAMMATES GET OFF THE FIELD ON THIRD DOWN!!!!!!!!! Come on, man! This isn’t the WWE.

That was a long and cathartic digression and the intended takeaway that the Giants gave Bradford and the Eagles offense bonus opportunities and a lot of time to throw the ball. But despite a meager pass rush and the Giants playing without one of their best linebackers (Devon Kennard) and top cover corner (Prince Amukamara), Bradford still stunk it up with three interceptions and several errant passes.

Finally that takes us to the Eagles-Panthers showdown on Sunday. After a huge road win in Seattle to remain undefeated, APP doesn’t see this as a "letdown" spot for the Panthers but another game, behind a home crowd, for Carolina to prove naysayers wrong and maybe penalize media members for incorrect predictions, if Newton had his way.

The Eagles’ game plan? Hit Cam Newton and hit him again.

"Get him uncomfortable," said defensive end Fletcher Cox. "Hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, even when they run the ball, hit him. I think that will shake him up a bit, make him frustrated and that’s when all quarterbacks start doing crazy things." 

Not a bad plan but they’d better review those rules on dumping.

New York Jets +8 at New England Patriots

No Longer Muscle Hamster" Martin comes to town off a bye with Jameis Winston. Winston’s WR tandem of Mike Evans and Vincent Jackson should be able to get it going against a banged-up Washington secondary that will probably be missing starting CBs Chris Culliver and DeAngelo Hall again. Meanwhile the Bucs’ secondary should see some improvement with the return of Johnthan Banks.

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Season record: 10-5-2

PRIMATE BREAK

My new best friend…. Dallas Bryant world #throwupthex

A photo posted by Dez Bryant (@dezbryant) on

For those of you in season-long and revival leagues:

Arizona Cardinals vs. Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens are a mess. Don’t love picking against John Harbaugh, but the personnel just isn’t the same and isn’t healthy and the Cardinals ought to thrash them in the air as they come home off a very disappointing loss in Pittsburgh.

Indianapolis Colts vs. New Orleans Saints: Expect a nice bounce-back for Indy against a pretty terrible Saints passing defense that struggles to get after the quarterback.

St. Louis Rams vs. Cleveland Browns: APP loves Todd Gurley as much as the daily fantasy experts do, but he can’t do it alone, even against a terrible Browns rush defense. Cleveland ought to stack the box and make QB Nick Foles beat them, which won’t be a pleasant endeavor for fans. The Rams are still a decent pick but be careful.

ILL-ADVISED TEASER

here if you need an explanation on how teaser bets work.)

We hit again last week thanks to the Browns +11 and Panthers +14. Let’s make it happen with the totals this time: (1) tease down the Saints-Colts from o52 to o45 in what has the makings of a shootout and tease up the Eagles-Panthers from u46 to u53 in what should be a defensive slugfest.

Ludicrous mode whiffed last week and will enjoy a bye this week.

Happy Week 7, everybody!

Follow me @brettsmiley , send e-mail to basmiley at gmail.com and follow The Buzzer on Facebook