InstantChat is Bill Belichick’s latest fictional social media network

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick looks on in the second quarter against the Houston Texans, Saturday, Jan. 14, 2017 in Foxborough, Mass. The New England Patriots won 34-16. (Logan Bowles via AP Images)

Bill Belichick responded to a question about Antonio Brown's Facebook Live stream on Monday in the most Belichickian way possible. 

“Well, as you know, I'm not on SnapFace and all that, so I don't really get those,” the Patriots coach said in an interview on Boston's WEEI sports radio. “I'm really just worried about getting our team ready to go. I'm not too worried about what they put on InstantChat.” 

This is not the first time Belichick has used names of social media platforms that simply do not exist. It all started in 2011, when he was asked about Chad Ochocinco's social media presence. 

“I don't Twitter, I don't MyFace, I don't Yearbook,” he said. He went with the classic dad-move of using the name of a social media as a verb (“Stop Facebooking!” or “Are you Twittering?”). Where he came up with Yearbook, I have no idea.

Then in 2014, the Patriots' scouting report of Johnny Manziel was leaked. Belichick, of course, took a generic question about internet leaking and found a way to link it back to fictitious social media sites.

“What's online, you should go talk to the geniuses that are online,” he said. “I don't know. MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace.”

He's being sarcastic about the “geniuses,” and that's indicative of Belichick's views toward social media in general. He's trolling, and a pattern is beginning to emerge: MyFace is Belichick's fake social media site of choice.

Any doubt that Belichick was just messing with everyone was erased in October 2015. 

Let's do a bit of analyzing here. Belichick used “snap” for the first time. That means he's woke enough to know that Snapchat was the new hot social media at the time. I'm not buying this whole completely-oblivious-old-man routine.  

What's next: InstantSnap? FaceGram?

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