Jurassic farce? Rams DE William Hayes doesn’t believe dinosaurs actually existed
ESPN’s Nick Wagoner uncovered this pretty hilarious archaeological aside earlier in the season but only recently published the quotes. Hayes is coming off a standout performance against Seattle with nine tackles and three sacks.
"No, I don’t believe dinosaurs existed," Hayes said via ESPN. "Not even a little bit. With these bones, it’s crazy because man has never seen a dinosaur, we can agree on that, right? But we know exactly how to put these bones together? I believe there is more of a chance you will find a mermaid than you will a dinosaur because we find different species in the water all the time."
Museums and Disney movies must be troubling. And apparently it’s been a point of contention between Hayes and his defensive line teammate Chris Long (case in point: Hayes’ NSFW response to T. Rex existence).
"I don’t understand how [Long] just believes in dinosaurs," Hayes said via ESPN. "That’s just crazy to me. We know they died. We know what a T-Rex eats? That don’t sound crazy to you? We have never seen a dinosaur before but we know exactly where every single rib [was] and which rib goes where. That’s crazy to me."
Mermaids, on the other hand, are "110 percent" real (response also NSFW).
If Hayes has some free time this offseason, we respectfully request a series of video essays on his theory of evolution, as well as a complete picture of Earth’s food chain.