College soccer team to host ‘Harambe Night’ promotion for fans

CINCINNATI, OH - JUNE 2: Flowers lay around a bronze statue of a gorilla and her baby outside the Cincinnati Zoo's Gorilla World exhibit days after a 3-year-old boy fell into the moat and officials were forced to kill Harambe, a 17-year-old Western lowland silverback gorilla June 2, 2016 in Cincinnati, Ohio. The exhibit is still closed as Zoo official work to up grade safety features of the exhibit. (Photo by John Sommers II/Getty Images)
John Sommers II/Getty Images

Yeah. This is happening. It really is.

With the hurricane of Harambe-themed signs, posters and t-shirts churning across the college sporting scene as students return to school, it was a mathematical certainty that someone, somewhere would hold a Harambe night at a public sporting event.

You can thank the UMass Lowell River Hawks for breaking that seal — the team will be hosting a theme night in memory of the Western lowland gorilla that was subjected to the ultimate judgment call this summer.

Fans wearing gorilla suits have a chance to win unnamed prizes, and the first 100 through the door get a mini stuffed "Harambe."

Hold on to this souvenir. Years from now, it will serve as a vital tool in explaining to your grandchildren why all these gorilla statues have been erected across our nation’s public parks and zen gardens. Because they will ask.

"Why is there a Mandrill on the U.S. Supreme Court?"

"Who changed the national anthem to the theme from ‘Congo’?"

And you’ll just hold the toy up and tell them: "This is Harambe. He was a beautiful gorilla, and he died for your memes."

Dan is on Twitter. Rest in peace to all my expired memes out there.