Seven sports commercials that will never stop being funny
April 14 happens to be the birthday of the great Greg Maddux, which reminded me of two things:
1) Man, it was so much fun watching him pitch.
2) The "chicks dig the long ball" commercial was, is and will always be among the greatest commercials ever made. (Did I undersell that or no?)
That led, of course, to pulling up the clip on YouTube.
And that led, of course, to falling down a rabbit hole of awesome sports commercials that will probably always be funny.
Here are seven for your enjoyment.
1. Chicks dig the long ball
It’s an iconic Nike commercial from the late-1990s when Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux were teammates on the Atlanta Braves, Mark McGwire was smashing home runs for the St. Louis Cardinals and baseball acted like steroids didn’t exist. Good times!
2. You wouldn’t make it in pro football
This Verizon spot doesn’t get nearly enough credit for being hilarious. A normal guy walks into the trainer’s room, sits down next to a football player, rubs his shoulder as if it’s a little sore, watches the player get his dislocated finger popped back into place without flinching and then immediately faints from the sight and falls off the table. I forgot how simple but brilliantly executed this one is.
3. NHL coach cliches
All athletes and coaches will use common lines when they have to answer the same questions over and over, night after night, during a long season. This NHL ad makes fun of that reality with a coach trying to explain why his team lost with the most ridiculous metaphors possible, like this: "That’s why we lost tonight – we couldn’t put the cat in the hat." So good.
4. Wilt Chamberlain’s children’s laxative commercial
Wilt Chamberlain did a children’s laxative commercial. That’s the whole joke.
5. Verizon hockey maternity ward
You don’t have to be a huge hockey fan to appreciate the humor here. A new dad looking through the glass of a maternity ward starts slapping the window when he sees his newborn, as if he’s sitting against the boards at hockey game. The part where I lost it: When he starts pointing at all other babies in the room and says, "Loser! Loser!" He then looks at his own child and yells, "You’re the best baby in the world!" Priceless.
6. Converse NBA rap video
This commercial is so bad it will always provide a comedic relief when one is needed. Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas, Kevin McHale, Larry Bird and other NBA stars from the ’80s awkwardly rapping together? Thank you Converse! You guys are too kind.
7. Peyton Manning MasterCard
It probably is just to give the lost spot to one of our funniest modern athletes. Peyton Manning has made us laugh many times over the years, but if we’re limiting ourselves to only his commercials, I’m partial to this MasterCard gem where Manning treats grocery store workers and restaurant servers like sports stars. The "D-CAF! D-CAF!" chant at the diner, begging for an apron when the server walks out of the restaurant after his shift, having the dude sign his melon … pure brilliance.
Teddy Mitrosilis works in content production at FOX Sports Digital. Follow him on Twitter @TMitrosilis and email him at email@example.com.