It’s pretty safe to say that I’ve attended a UFC
event here and there, so because I am kind and noble, I will share
some tips and tricks to getting the most out of your own UFC
For example, here are some answers to common questions that will
save everyone a lot of time:
Yes, fighting in the UFC was cool.
Yes, Dana White is cool.
Yes, the next UFC event will also be very cool.
Yes, working on UFC Tonight is cool.
Yes, Chael IS crazy.
If you’re asking a fighter who they’re fighting
next, the answer is most likely already confirmed and on the
Internet. And for the record, they’re hoping for a war and
they urging you NOT to blink.
Most importantly, here are some foolproof tips to use when
meeting your favorite UFC stars:
If you see one of the UFC’s Octagon girls, be original
with your pick-up lines. For example: “You have beautiful
eyes, can I touch them?”
If you want immediate respect walking around on Fight Night,
please bring your most violent t-shirt. Nothing says I love MMA
like a “bleeding Lion” or a “sword carrying pit-bull”.
To corner your favorite fighter, work in groups.
Semicircle traps work best to corner fighters. Don’t give
them an out. Back them up against a wall and form a semicircle
that will keep them there for hours. Then, link arms in an
“Amish Sweep” formation and leave no gap for
Have spotters and lookout crews to alert the masses. “Hey
everyone! That’s Khabib Nurmagomedov!”
Know your Silvas. Anderson Silva, Wanderlei Silva, Thiago
Silva, Antonio Silva, and Erick Silva. (Matchmaker Joe Silva not
included for legal purposes)
Always tell fighters you’re their biggest fan, then ask
them who they’re fighting next or what they’ve been
up to lately. Recently, I had one of my “biggest
fans” ask me when I’m fighting next. I then was
forced to let them down slowly about how I retired almost two
Find two UFC fighters that are fighting each other soon and
wait until they are close to each other. Make sure you tell them
that you hope they kick the other guy’s ass right in front
of them. Sincerity is crucial.
Don’t be afraid to ask fighters to sign a dirty pair of
underwear. They will sign anything.
For you guys out there, there is no masculine way to get your
t-shirt signed if you are wearing it.
Prove to fighters that you know what you’re talking
about, but aren’t nerdy about it and be like, “Why
did the UFC cut Rousimar “Toquinho” Palhares yo?
Always give a fighter some fight tips when you see them.
“You need to throw more kicks”, “You need to
keep your hands up bro”, or ahem,“work on your
wrestling”. Most fighters don’t have time to think
about this stuff so the comments are usually a big help.
Bring four brand-new sharpies. Two silver and two black.
Fountain pens, pencils, and fluorescent highlighters are frowned
Have your cameras/camera phones ready to fire at all times.
Bring a fancy fanny pack to carry chargers, extra batteries and
memory for your cameras. Fanny packs = respect in the MMA
If you see me, make sure you refer to me as Mr. Florian. Do
NOT look me in the eye. (Looking me in the eye is considered a
direct challenge.) When you call me over, give me a compliment
like, “You look handsome today Mr. Florian” and then
when I ignore you, thank me anyway out of respect.
It was my most sincere attempt to assist you with meeting your
favorite UFC Fighter. You’re welcome!