A stripper in wrestling shoes -€“ the best early UFC story you haven’t heard

Rogan weaves a whimsical story of love and betrayal. And strippers.

Ethan Miller/Getty Images for MGM Resorts Int

And you thought you already heard all the cool stories about the UFC’€™s early days.
Well, Joe Rogan was saving one – probably because it was way too raunchy to air on FOX Sports 1. He was able to share it on this video for Comedy Central. And man, it’€™s a doozy.


Back in 1998, UFC 12 was held in magnificent Dothan, Ala. The night before the fights, Rogan found himself hanging out with one of the fighters -€“ he wouldn’€™t say who, but we have our guesses – and a local radio DJ. The trio somehow ended up at a strip club -€“ that was actually a house off a dirt road with no street lights and nylon sign that read ‘€œGentleman’s Club’.
"€œIt’€™s a f***ing regular door -€“ there are book shelves, people have their shoes there,"€ Rogan said. "€œThere’s a f***ing staircase".
Rogan says one girl approached him before he could even sit down. Let’s say she was less than appealing to the then-20-something comedian.
"There’s a thing that a gal would do when she’€™s trying to get you to get a private dance from her," Rogan said. "€œThe thing is for her to immediately put her knee where your penis is, move into you and start talking to you. This is a sexy pose. But not when you’€™re wearing sweat pants and wrestling shoes and your breath smells like you ate 150 shit sandwiches and had a drunken mariachi band fart in your mouth for a year".
Rogan turned down the offer as politely as he could, which prompted the classy young lady to yell: "€œYou don’t know what the f*** you’re missing! I’€™m a bad ass bitch!" over and over again.
And then it dawned on our protagonist.
"€œI’€™m never going to get out of here alive,"€ Rogan said.
So, he finds the fighter – who he refers to as ‘€œthe trained killer’ – and tells him they have to get out of there. It turns out the fighter -€“ who we, for our purposes, will call Clark Moleman – met the only attractive girl in the house.
"She weighs 90 pounds,"€ Moleman tells Rogan, adding a matter-of-fact assessment of her anatomy.
Moleman and the tiny stripper want to get out of there, but only if the girl can bring her friend -€“ of course, the chick who wanted to give Rogan a dance.
The four of them pile into the radio DJ’€™s car and head back to the hotel. Rogan’€™s girl is mouthing off the whole time, which Moleman realizes could be a serious problem when he gets his mini stripper to the room. So when the car pulls up to the hotel, Moleman makes a break for it.
"The f***ing trained killer kicks open the door, grabs the 90-pounder and just starts running,"€ Rogan said.
Bad-breath girl chases after them screaming, but Moleman makes it to the elevator just before she can get there. Obviously, the chick with the wrestling shoes and sweat pants makes a giant scene and ends up relieving herself right in the parking lot when hotel staff wouldn’€™t let her use the bathroom.
"I’€™m sitting in my car just laughing my ass off thinking this might be the best person I’€™ve ever met in my life,"€ Rogan said. "€œI’€™ve met some inspirational mother f***ers. I think about her more than any of them".