Schalke mock United and England

A satirical column has taken a light-hearted sideswipe at English
life, including the perceived obsession with celebrity, its
culinary habits and yes, the inability to win penalty shoot-outs
against German teams. “The English are going nuts this week about
the wedding – no, not Katie Price this time but Prince William,”
gushed the column. “England is the motherland of football of
course. But they have still not learned about penalties. “In Wayne
Rooney we have the eternal favourite son-in-law for English mothers
and that evergreen youngster Edwin van der Sar, who takes
goalkeeping tips from Jens Lehmann. And then there is Malcolm
Glazer, who for Manchester United fans is the equivalent of Lord
Voldemort.” Almost 2,500 United fans are expected at the first-leg
encounter, each with a similar name, according to Schalke. “The
typical Manc man is called Paul. He has darts in his right pocket
and in his left pocket has a picture of a bulldog. The girls are
called Samantha. “And can you believe they put vinegar on their