The 2017 MLS season is finally underway and now that every team has played one match -- a whole 2.9 percent of their seasons! -- it's pretty obvious that we know all we need to know about all the teams and the entire league.
The Houston Dynamo are winning MLS Cup
Cubo Torres, Romell Quioto and Alberth Elis were unreal in leading the Dynamo attack. Houston overhauled their team in the offseason, especially up front, and it paid off. Undefeated season, here they come.
Thomas SheaThomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports
The Sounders' slow start will doom them
They don't know how to use Nicolas Lodeiro and Clint Dempsey together, and are winless on the season.
It's hard to imagine them overcoming a rocky start to win MLS Cup.
Troy TaorminaTroy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports
Joe Bendik is the best goalkeeper in the league
Orlando City signed a couple defenders to help fix a problematic back line, but they don't matter. The real key to their defensive turnaround was telling Joe Bendik to be a star, which is what he did. Problem solved.
Joseph MaioranaJoe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports
Minnesota United will have the worst defense in MLS history
They're on pace to allow 170 goals this season. That's not me saying they're bad, that's math saying it.
Troy WayrynenTroy Wayrynen-USA TODAY Sports
Sebastian Giovinco is over the hill
He may be just 30 years old and spent the last two seasons turning Toronto FC from MLS laughingstock to arguably the best team in the league, but he couldn't coax a single goal out of the Reds on Saturday. It's over.
Russell IsabellaRuss Isabella-USA TODAY Sports
Anyone can play right back
Sebastian Lletget is a midfielder, and a very good one at that. He even played for the U.S. national team earlier this year!
Will Johnson is a Canadian international and, like Lletget, also a midfielder.
Both players played right back this weekend and both were OK. So pick out a midfielder on your team and he's your new right back.
Mark J. RebilasMark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Red cards are so 2016
Remember when there were 16 red cards in the first five weeks of last season? Only one this season.
Just look at Orlando City vs. NYCFC, where both teams were trying to bulldoze each other. You can do whatever you want in MLS now.
Ron ChenoyRon Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
The Year of Kellyn Acosta is real
Except this one is very serious.
Acosta scored twice to help FC Dallas advance in the Champions League, then bossed the midfield and scored to beat the Galaxy on Saturday. The kid is ready to be a star.