Mustache Institute calls Reds facial hair guidelines 'sad'
FEB 18, 2014 4:23p ET
Would you expect anything less?
In one of the least shocking developments to report, the American Mustache Institute is coming out in opposition to the Cincinnati Reds' facial hair cutback in 2014.
It all started with new manager Bryan Price noting his players' beards and mustaches should be tamer.
"...we had some beards getting out of control. So let's pull in the reins on that," Price said.
Here's what American Mustache Institute President Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove had to say about the Reds manager's stance:
"Coming from a team with one of the most ruggedly handsome mascots, this is a sad and unexpected move from the bald-faced front office in Southern Ohio. Frankly, we at the AMI are very disappointed in the discriminatory actions coming from the Reds front office. The mere thought that one could 'tame' the facial hair of world-class athletes is laughable, at best. From a strategic standpoint, this policy should not sit well with the Cincinnati fan base."
We all know the Red Sox's scraggly solution to success was a winner last season. But, contrary to popular belief bred in Boston, the number of different beard styles a team has does not have a correlation to wins. The Reds will be just fine.