The head coach of the New York Islanders, Jack Capuano, has a tendency to speak in what might seem like made up terms to someone unfamiliar with his conversational style.
Terms like “battle level” and “smart and hard,” thrown around in a Bostonian drawl at a post-game press conference are all too familiar to New York Islanders faithful. We’re all well acquainted with coach Capuano’s particular brand of ridiculousness.
I have lovingly dubbed the outlandish and sometimes outright falseness of his post-game liberties “Capua-no-sense”. For those unfamiliar with his particular brand of post-game coverage, here’s a compendium on last night’s gem.
“I thought we did some good things against a good team”
There are several definitions of good out there, most of which are relative. Losing can be a good thing when it builds character or pushes us to persevere. Losing in the realm of professional sports will never be classified as a “good thing” unless it cements your spot at the top of the draft for the next COnonr McDavid/John Tavares/Sidney Crosby. #Capuanosense
The Detroit Red Wings have the 20th best record in the league. They do not currently occupy a playoff spot in the Eastern Conference of the NHL. Relatively speaking, Detroit is not currently a “good team”. #Capuanosense
“We didn’t give up many chances”
Again we encounter a relative term in the form of “many”. I think most people would consider “many” to be somewhere in the realm of higher than average. The average NHL team allows 43 shot attempts per night. The average NHL team allows 32 unblocked shot attempts per night. #Capuanosense
For the season the Detroit Red Wings average 38 shot attempts per game. That is dead last in the league. The Red Wings average 29 unblocked shots per game. That is second to last in the league. #Capuanosense
Last night the Islanders allowed 49. Last night the Islanders allowed 34. The New York Islanders did, in fact, give up many chances last night despite the fact that Jack Capuano thinks otherwise.
“We didn’t manage the puck”
It helps to keep your puck on the stick when traveling over the blueline. That as opposed to dumping and chasing over and over in a never-ending ouroboros of not possessing/managing the puck. #Capuanosense
With seemingly impenetrable job security in hand, Jack Capuano continues to look on the bright side/outright lie while the rest of Islanders nation flounders at the bottom of the Eastern Conference standings. I’m unsure what the addition of a presidential hire would do for this particular situation, but I’m open to suggestions. All I know is that I’m tired of dealing with this #Capuanosense.