Give people a forum to speak their mind in 140 characters or less and you have provocative, diverse and controversial thoughts on the Internet. Give a sports celebrity the same forum, and you have this.
From Cincinnati Bengals’ Chad Ocho Cinco (@OGOchoCinco): Damit she’s pregnant!!! I knew I shouldn’t have kept these pigeons together in the same cage, I’m pissed off!!
Obviously, Chad failed his 5th grade Health Science class and ignored the teen-aged clerk’s warning at PetSmart.
From San Diego Chargers’ Shaun Phillips (@ShaunPhillips95): Breaking news @OGOchoCinco got a bird prego. Wonder what he does on his spare time.
Yup, Chad’s escapades are starting to irritate his brethren. Who would have thunk it?
From NASCAR’s Kenny Wallace (@Kenny_Wallace): Oh Lord…Do not turn on Larry King Live….The topic is Gays in the Church…they are going at it…I Love Everyone..
Well, of course we’re going to turn it on. It’s like saying, "Don’t watch the instant replay of that football player’s injury … it’s gruesome" and expecting us to comply.
From former MLB’er Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco): I need an attorney pro bono my lanlord evicted me and would not let me take my chandeleers with me, need your help to get them back
Do we sense another MMA fight coming up where Canseco gets knocked out in three seconds? While we’re at it, if he needs an attorney for free of charge, maybe the chandeliers aren’t worth saving for a future studio apartment in Hialeah, Florida?
From San Diego Chargers’ Shaun Phillips (@ShaunPhillips95): I love days when I make some extra money. Now the hard part is finding what to spend it on. I have a few birthdays coming up so will see.
Our birthday is coming up too. Put us on the list?
From NASCAR’s Danica Patrick (@DanicaPatrick): Hi I’m in………delaware. Haha. Waynes world.
That’s not going to score you points anywhere. Umm, do you have any points in NASCAR?
From NASCAR’s Denny Hamlin (@DennyHamlin) in response to Danica Patrick: if ur gonna run this circuit u better get used to it. We travel to some of Americas great destinations!
Denny Hamlin zings Danica Patrick and promotes the sport, all in one tweet. Future politician?
From Oakland Raiders’ Quentin Groves (@QuentinGroves52): Great practice today!! Now it’s time to cook some of my famous jambalaya!!! Who wants some??
Somewhere, JaMarcus Russell is crying.
From MLB free agent Michael Schlact (@Michael_Schlact): Fact. I sleepwalk. I once woke up standing near the elevators in a hotel hallway. Wearing nothing but my underwear.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
NASCAR’s Kenny Wallace (@Kenny_Wallace) in response to a fan questioning why he was suddenly not answering questions on twitter.com: My I-pad was dying and i had to Pee
Fact: Seventy-nine percent of Americans have used their cell phones/texting services while in the bathroom. Is Kenny the majority or minority?
From golfer Kyle Walters (@KyleWaltersGolf): the condo below me is being demolished….why you ask?? it just got busted for being a growhouse!! #WOW #iliveinthehood
Dude, you lived in Hawai’i during your college years and are a part-time bartender. You still can’t tell the difference between a warm Corona and some weed?
From NFL free agent Gerald Alexander (@GA42), tweeting about Miami vs Pitt: Man this is str8 up JV ball on Espn. Miami is trash. If it ain’t Top 5 ball it doesn’t matter
Don’t you love former Boise State football players talking trash?
From Cincinnati Bengals’ Quan Cosby (@Cosby12): What to do? Regular and Law and Order SVU is on and idk which to watch…..
Quan needs to step up his game here. He’s a Bengals’ receiver and pales in comparison to T.O. and Ocho Cinco in terms of tweets. Frankly, we’re mystified as to why he was drafted because Law and Order SVU wins every time.
From Philadelphia Eagles’ Jamar Chaney (@Jamar22Chaney): Finally got my Escalade truck. Feels good. #ThankYouJesus!
Let’s just see if he feels that way every time he leaves the gas pump.
From Cincinnati Bengals’ Chad Ocho Cinco (@OGOchoCinco): Everybody sleep with angels and have a great night, for tomorrow isnt promised just know my crazy ass loves you in case its your or my time
That’s a comforting thought?
From Houston Texans’ James Casey (@jamescasey86): I practiced today and it was confirmed that my blood type is W…..(Wolverine)!
You gotta love a player who still has strong ties to his college years, which is confusing, because Casey played for the Rice Owls, not the Michigan Wolverines.
From golfer Kyle Walters (@KyleWaltersGolf): cleaning the house and jammin out! shouldnt this be a ______s job? hahaha jk ladies 🙂
That better be maid.
From golfer Paula Creamer (@The PCreamer): How come people talk so loud on the phone when they are on the airplane? Just because your on a plane doesn’t mean you need to scream!
Sure it does. It drowns out the screaming babies and emergency exit instructions from the flight attendants while passengers use electronic devices they’re not supposed to be using in-flight.
From Oklahoma Thunder’s Kevin Durant (@KDthunderup): Long day today..lifting, workout..then EA sports voice overs for a commercial then DEOdurant commercial..pray for me yall, thanks!
Oh Kevin, we love you. But don’t get us started on your "long day."
From NFL free agent Jason Davis (@JasonDavis43): Can’t wait to get up 2morrow & give thanx to the Lord plus eat Chick-fila for lunch. Maybe even make out with @_JessicaAshley
This tweet had so much potential "inspiration" in the beginning, didn’t it?