The ultimate in Favre-fetched ideas
The jokes started as soon as the news broke Thursday. St. Louis had contacted Brett Favre about becoming head cheerleader.
No wait, it’s even funnier than Favre in Go-Go boots and hose. The Rams wondered if Favre might be interested in putting on a football uniform again.
The Internet immediately exploded with other candidates on Jeff Fisher’s short list: Turk Schonert, Don Majkowski, Bart Starr, Neil O’Donnell, Rosie O’Donnell or any of the 67 ex-NFL quarterbacks currently working for ESPN.
It was funny to everybody except Fisher. The Rams’ coach was probably trying to think of other ways to entice Favre into signing a contract. Perhaps unlimited texting privileges and free prostate exams.
You’d swear it was all a belated April Fool’s prank or Fisher just wanted to take his city’s mind off Game 1 of the World Series. Then Favre confirmed the offer and you were just glad Fisher doesn’t manage the Cardinals.
“Ladies and gentlemen, starting Game 2 for St. Louis – Bob Gibson!”
“It’s flattering,” Favre told ESPN 570 Radio in Washington. “But you know there’s no way I’m going to do that.”
All those who ridiculed his serial comebacks can’t pin this one on good old Brett. He is happy to spend his days on his riding his tractor, bouncing grandson on his knee and coaching the Oak Grove Warriors.
The mere fact a team showed any interest brought into question the overall quality of NFL quarterbacking. Anyone who’s seen the Vikings this season knows it’s not good.
We get excited about the young guns and marvel at Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and the other brand names. But there obviously isn’t enough talent to adequately stock 32 teams. If you disagree and have somebody in mind, please contact Tampa Bay, Minnesota, Houston, Jacksonville, Philadelphia, Cleveland and Tennessee -- immediately.
Then there is the Tim Tebow, last spotted doing pushups on a Hawaiian beach. NFL teams would obviously rather sign Don Ho than Tee-Bo.
But this isn’t so much what the Rams’ thinking says about Tebow or the general state of QB affairs. It’s what it says about the Rams’ thinking says about the Rams.
They needed help after losing Sam Bradford to a left knee injury last week. But didn’t anyone in the organization look at the most recent films of Favre?
They are 2010 vintage. Favre was held together by ACE bandages and grit. Watching him try to move on an arctic night against the Bears was like watching Don Corleone stagger around his tomato garden.
“I had a great career,” he said. “I think if anything, the last year that I played it was an obvious handwriting-on-the-wall vision for you.”
What in the world is Fisher seeing?
The Rams are just looking for somebody to keep the position warm until they figure a way to escape Bradford’s $78 million contract. Wouldn’t taking a chance on JaMarcus Russell or Troy Smith or the best available McCown brother make more sense than calling the MVP of the 1986 Hancock High Hawks?
St. Louis ended up signing Brady Quinn. As disappointing as his career has been, being second choice to a 44-year-old grandfather might go down as the biggest insult he’ll endure.
“When I decided to go, I mean it was time to go,” Favre said. “I think the good thing about where I am in my life right now, I’m not staring off into the clouds or wandering around wondering what to do.”
Fisher apparently is. All Rams can do is hope Wrangler secretly put him up to this or he was just temporarily insane.
In the meantime, if I’m Bubby Brister, I’m waiting by the phone.