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NFL Truths: Zorn should embrace bizarre role
Brooke Hundley 10. Well, we know what costume Jim Zorn is wearing for Halloween: He's dressing up as an NFL head coach. He's grabbing a magic marker, a clipboard, throwing on a headset and he'll stand in the corner at someone's Halloween party doodling little notes to himself. During the Redskins' Monday night matchup with the Eagles, my sources tell me Zorn spent the three hours working on his honey-do list. Immediately after the game, Zorn was spotted at a 24-hour Home Depot picking up a shower head. Is Zorn really going to put himself through this nine more times? I know the money is awesome, but 27 more hours of televised footage that Daniel Snyder has stolen your manhood is not the right look for a man with pride. By December, HBO might start televising Redskins games and calling them an "OZ" spinoff with Snyder playing the role of Simon Adebisi. Had Snyder forced Zorn to elevate one of his assistants to offensive coordinator, Zorn could've easily retained some dignity and pride. But by whisking 67-year-old Sherman Lewis away from a Detroit bingo parlor and handing him play-calling duties, Snyder made it personal and damaging to Zorn's credibility. Snyder has no respect for Jim Zorn. Zero. Zilch. OK, I'm going to assume Zorn is tolerating the abuse for the welfare of his family. He's collecting a few million and can't afford to quit. I'd force Snyder to fire me. Every time I'd address the media, I'd bring up the absurdity of the current situation. If a reporter asked me about the offense: "Hey, guys, I don't call the plays. I wear a headset and doodle during the games." If a reporter asked me about being 2-5: "Hey, guys, I wear a headset and doodle. That's a question Mr. Snyder and Vinny Cerrato can answer." The Washington Post loves to take potshots at the Redskins. The Post would totally support Zorn. He's a victim of Snyder's immaturity. 9. Jon Gruden continues to disappoint on "Monday Night Football." Gruden is high energy and you can tell he loves the game, but Ron Jaworski already has that role covered. The "MNF" booth needs a tough guy, a loose cannon willing to say whatever comes to his mind. Gruden always struck me as a loose cannon. He took on Al Davis and won. He took on Keyshawn Johnson and won. Gruden's commentary on "MNF" is just too tame.
2. Ravens: Yes, I know they've lost three straight. But I still believe in their defense.
3. Colts: Victory at Arizona is impressive. I want to see more before I elevate them above Ravens.
4. Vikings: I'm riding the Brett Favre bandwagon. One loss doesn't scare me.
5. Bengals: Beat Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Baltimore, Chicago and should've beat Denver.
I'm still picking the Eagles to win it all! 2. Sam Bradford was a second-round pick before his injuries. I'm not talking about on Mel Kiper's or Todd McShay's big boards. I'm talking about based on Bradford's talent. He's always been a second-round pick. He's Tim Couch. Bradford doesn't have the arm strength, athleticism or overall body strength to be a great NFL quarterback. Bradford should've turned pro when he had everyone fooled. The general manager who plucks Bradford in Round 1 now should lose his job when Bradford flops as a franchise quarterback. 1. I wish Bob Griese had called me before issuing an apology for his Juan Pablo Montoya "joke." As the official racial-apology czar, I would've instructed Griese he owed no one an apology for saying Montoya was probably eating a taco. It was a bad joke. But ESPN overreacted by suspending Griese for a week. Griese's comment was totally different from Fuzzy Zoeller's mean-spirited fried chicken-and-collard greens crack after Tiger won his first Masters. You can e-mail Jason at BallState0@aol.com or find him on Facebook at facebook.com/jasonwhitlock.