CHICKS ON FOOTBALL: Week 2 spankings

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foxsports admin

Week 2 certainly provided its share of excitement. and unleashed their potent guns with career games, while rookies such as and lost their NFL virginity by getting their first scores. But not every player and coach lived up to our lofty expectations. As always, we are ready and willing to dress down the bad boys as we strive to make the NFL a better place. Paul Hackett: We chicks are getting fed up with the ' lame offensive coordinator. In the preseason Hackett teased us by letting Vinny whip his balls around with abandon and there was oodles of talk about pushing the ball down the field this season. The plan certainly made sense with young, speedy receivers and at Vinny's disposal. But once the games counted, Hackett lost his nerve. Against the , over 60 percent of the receptions were by running backs and it took until the end of the third quarter for a wide receiver to catch a pass. Coles was shut out for the entire game. It is no wonder we heard so many fans snoring on Sunday! Old Vinny still has a potent gun but it will soon become flaccid from a lack of use if Hackett does not set it loose. Time to smarten up, Paul! Ray Buchanon: For a supposed holy man and team leader, this Falcon makes some rather costly mistakes. Buchanon was suspended for four games after testing positive for anabolic steroids. His "inadvertent mistake" could not have come at a worse time for the talented who entered the season with valid playoff hopes. The have lost each of their first games by a nose hair and need their stud players on the field in order to turn their luck around. : It did not take us long to find this year's . We hate to kick a kicker when he is down, but this is ridiculous. How does a professional kicker miss two extra points in one game? Even we chicks could bang in a measly extra point! There is no easier score in football; but Doug failed to get it up and in and his unit suffered a loss. Because of Doug's impotence the game went into overtime and was able to slay the . : For years Gussy has been trying to make football fans forget about his Monday night head-butting debacle when he knocked himself out of the game after running into a wall in celebration. But this week, he proved that once a bonehead always a bonehead. Gus sealed the Bungles' loss by tossing a lame lefty pass into the greedy hands of Brown DE who rumbled 71 yards to set up another Cleveland touchdown. Last week Buc punter tried a similar stunt. We could forgive Tom because he was avoiding a safety, which would have also resulted in an overtime loss for his team. Besides, he is a punter -- we do not expect them to make dazzling throws. But Gus was in the red zone -- all he had to do was throw the ball away, take the field goal and make it a one score game. This was not the time for Gus to experiment with his bad arm. Watching him throw the ball with his good arm can be painful enough! The football deities: OK, last year we suspected something was fishy ... but this year we are sure of it. Someone up above is playing favorites with the Chicago (could Walter Payton have been appointed football's guardian angel?). Sure, had a huge game containing and collecting two sacks and a recovered fumble. But what are the odds that Falcon kicker would miss two field goal attempts after hitting a 52-yarder in Lambeau Field last week? In Week 1 the squeaked out a victory when threw a ridiculous pass into the hands of "Mr. Blessed" himself, . The are good enough to stay close with every team in the league and for that we give them tons of credit. But somehow in the last seconds of every game, the ball is delivered exactly where it needs to be in order for the to come out on top. Coincidence? We think not. Mike Martz: It looks as though Coach Martz may be a weekly fixture on our spanking list. Each time we see his smug face on the sidelines and observe his stubborn play calls, we are overwhelmed with an urge to reach for our paddles and whip his arrogant butt. But this week did our dirty work for us. Martz shot off his mouth last December when he ripped Sehorn by commenting that he would love to line up against the Giant cornerback every day of the week. Doesn't Mikey realize that comments such as this ALWAYS come back to haunt you! Well, Martz had his wish on Sunday when he hosted Sehorn and the . Jason made him eat his cocky words when he returned an interception 31 yards for a score. Good job motivating your opponent, Martz!
Tagged: Falcons, Bills, Bears, Bengals, Browns, Broncos, Vikings, Giants, Jets, Buccaneers, Redskins, Texans, Michael Vick, Jay Feely, Mike Brown, Brian Urlacher, Gus Frerotte, Daunte Culpepper, Drew Bledsoe, Santana Moss, Laveranues Coles, Tom Tupa, Kris Brown, Jeremy Shockey, Josh Reed, Doug Brien

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