CHICKS ON FOOTBALL: Off-season plastic surgery

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Last year it was Jerry Jones who underwent major reconstruction. With his skinny new figure and tightened-up face, Jones certainly looked like an entirely different man. It appears Jones may have started a trend in the NFL. During the off-season, many team owners have been performing reconstruction of their own. While some teams opted for just a nip and tuck here and there, others have gone for a whole new look. As with Jones, not all of the results are pretty. With the NFL season approaching, we decided to check out the works in progress and gossip about the most popular choices of reconstructive surgery.


Unfortunately, it is common to fatten up with age. Many teams were forced to stop the insanity and trim down in order to squeeze under the salary cap. The Battle of the Bulge cost Jacksonville almost half of its starters, including perennial Pro Bowler and two top defensive tackles (Gary Walker and ) in the expansion draft. Also gone are WR , MLB , K , DE and CB . The needed to drop meaty salaries, but in this case they lost much more than fat. They also lost a lot of their muscle. The Baltimore made quite a few trips to the chopping block as well. Their big, fat payroll forced them to cut TE , WR , S , DE and DT . They also lost linebacker and return man in the expansion draft and said farewell to CB and SS . The team lost even more weight with the retirement of DT and QB . Such a sudden and dramatic weight loss cannot be healthy. In fact, the look downright anorexic and can expect a very ugly season.


Age eventually catches up with all of us, and the same holds true in the NFL. Some owners decided the best way to improve their chances of scoring would be to get a shot of youth. The Denver have some potent offensive weapons, however they are beginning to hobble in their old age. Their starting receivers (33) and (32) are heading into the twilight of their careers and are showing signs of wear and tear. Meanwhile, is approaching 30 and keeps getting banged up. Therefore, the took drastic measures to reduce the adverse effects of aging on their offense by drafting speedy receiver Ashley Lelie and agile running back Clinton Portis with their first two picks in the draft. Lelie and Portis may not have a huge impact in 2002, but they certainly will help the stay fresh and potent in the years to come. The Cleveland ' offense also got a big lift from the draft, snagging stud running back William Green from Boston College with their first pick. In the second round, they chose speedster Andre Davis to add to their litter of young receivers. The Atlanta perked up their team by replacing the bald and aging with the young and feisty . Unfortunately, they did not help out their new gunslinger with a sufficiently enhanced receiving corps. The may not be a better team this season, but with Vick scrambling on the ground, they certainly will be more exciting to watch! But do not let anyone fool you — not all facelifts are fun. In fact, some can be very painful. Just ask the Minnesota , who anguished over cutting loose the NFL's all-time leading scorer, . The 42-year-old kicker did not have enough strength in his leg to handle the long field goals or kickoffs, and therefore the replaced him with the younger . And poor — he was ditched for a younger man as well. The sent the 10-year veteran packing after teammate sprung to stardom in his second season.

Boob Job

Of course, we cannot talk about reconstructive surgery without gossiping about the ever-titillating boob job. owner Daniel Snyder has no problem shelling out cash. This off-season, Danny bought himself a hot pair of assets to spruce up his team. Head coach Steve Spurrier and defensive coordinator Marvin Lewis are getting paid big money to work their magic with the Washington boys. Lewis is training his unit to swarm the ball and stalk opposing quarterbacks while Spurrier is busy snatching up ex-Gators and implementing his pass-happy offensive scheme. These flashy, new assets should help the 'Skins turn a lot of heads this season and may even earn them a ticket to the Big Dance if they get lucky.


Sometimes a few simple procedures will not suffice. Several teams opted for complete makeovers as they prepared for the upcoming season. After sinking to a 7-9 record in 2001, the ' management decided it was time for a whole new look. They started at the top by dumping their general manager Randy Mueller and trading away star back . In addition, they lost top defensive linemen and , as well as star left tackle Willie Roaf. Also gone are WR , WR , TE , LB and cornerbacks and . But all is not bleak in the Big Easy. The love sophomore running back and are counting on rookie hotshot Donte Stallworth, ex-Colt and huge tight end to add dynamite to their passing attack. Also receiving a major overhaul were the defense and Bucs offense. The shocked many of their fans by saying goodbye to an army of studs, including , , , and . However, the defense looks even better this year with the additions of , , , , and . Time will tell if the cost-effective makeover was a success. But the best new look of 2002 belongs to the Tampa Bay . They sure got a whole lot prettier the second Jon Gruden's face was added to the picture. The offensive guru was given plenty of dazzling accessories to help him sparkle this season. Newcomers , and will supplement the two Johnsons in the passing game. And a third Johnson, Rob "Bandanna Boy" Johnson, will be waiting in the wings if Brad falters at quarterback. Also joining the Bucs offense are rookie receivers Marquise Walker and Aaron Lockett. Ex-Gators and will not be missed as they departed for the capitol to rejoin their old college coach. The Bucs also changed their look at running back, where ex-Cardinal has replaced the departed .
Tagged: Falcons, Bills, Bears, Cowboys, Broncos, Lions, Packers, Titans, Colts, Chiefs, Raiders, Dolphins, Vikings, Patriots, Saints, Jets, Seahawks, Buccaneers, Redskins, Panthers, Jaguars, Ravens, Cardinals, Steelers, Texans, Michael Vick, Sam Cowart, Josh Evans, Jerome Pathon, Cam Cleeland, Deuce McAllister, Ricky Williams, Marcus Coleman, Shane Burton, James Farrior, Victor Green, Aaron Glenn, Donnie Abraham, Gary Walker, Renaldo Wynn, Jamie Sharper, Doug Brien

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