One bad call and fans will be screaming for the replacements. Good luck, guys.
When will it end?
The replacement ref era may be mercifully over, but the wisecracking lives on. The latest: What jobs can these guys do now — besides the ones they're actually qualified for? We're making the call ... and we think we got it right.
The refs' best move may be to trade their flags for pompoms; instead of blowing whistles they'll be hearing them. They say you look slimmer in stripes, but you gotta admit: He looks pretty good in that skirt.
Umpire the World Series
Relax, guys — baseball's a lot slower and the players are more forgiving. You can blow a perfect game and the pitcher won't even tweet anything bad about you. If you get flustered, just throw your hands up and call it a tie. And no matter what you screw up, it's not as big a deal as when it happens in an NFL game.
Work at Foot Locker
They're already dressed for it. And if Foot Locker ain't hiring, they can always sell women's shoes. Hey, if it was good enough for Al Bundy, it's good enough for them.
Sure, their blends may be off beat and they might knock over the turntables, but they sure can sport a set of headphones, and they're used to working in front of large crowds in loud venues. Heck, we know there's at least one official who's right at home in the clubs.
Ole! The way the replacement refs were waving the yellow flags around, handling a cape should be no problem. And is staring down a 1,500-pound bull really any scarier than facing an angry Ray Lewis?
The NFL's stock is on the rise now that the real refs are back. I sure hope the replacements know the market better than they know the NFL rulebook. If not, the economy may never turn around.
Airport ground crew
As much trouble as they had controlling a football game, air traffic may be a disastrous assignment. But they sure have the pose down.
Start a bad Village People cover band
Hey, they had trouble counting off penalty yards, pointing in the right direction on penalty calls and figuring out who actually caught a football. Why should we expect them to know how to spell YMCA?