Mail-it-in Friday: Why is Tebow unemployed? It’s YOUR fault!

Alrighty then! This is the debut of Mail-it-in Friday, where we answer your questions and comments. Remember to send your questions to lacesoutmail@gmail.com.

OK, off we go!

Nadine wrote:

Laces Out Crew ….

I have a bone to pick with all of the Tebow haters. I know that there is this theory going around the NFL that he can’t be a quarterback in that league. But I do not subscribe to that theory, because all of his quarterbacking career has been a success. The numbers don’t lie. When I look at the seasons Detroit, Cleveland and Jacksonville (just name a few) always have …. please …. if teams like that had Tebow as their quarterback those cities would finally come to life … they would begin to feel successful and I guarantee they would start winning. The few fans they have left deserve it. TO THE BOTTOM FIVE OWNERS, GET OVER YOURSELVES .. STOP SNUBBING TEBOW. He WON the Heisman.

First of all, you have an awesome first name. Second, we can’t really find holes in what you’re saying. Tebow has won at every level: high school, college and even in the pros. Remember that run with the Broncos? Remember that playoff touchdown pass against the Steelers in overtime?

I mean, name the last person who orchestrated such a dramatic victory and then was unceremoniously dumped the following offseason (besides every Marlins team that had any success).

Nadine, we’re friends now. The reason why NFL teams don’t want to bring in Tebow is because of emails like yours. You’re not the only person who feels this way. And like you, those people are VERY outspoken about their feelings. NFL owners and head coaches are overprotective control freaks. They don’t want anyone or anything bringing the dreaded “d” word. Distraction. And people screaming for Tebow to start, organizing letter-writing campaigns, taking out billboards along highways and lobbying the White House (unfreaking real) are giant distractions.

Here’s the Laces Out advice: You want Tebow to land somewhere? Clam up. Keep quiet. When the hysteria dies down, some team will pick him up as a backup. Tebow ultimately has too much talent to remain unemployed for long.

Nadine wrote again,

Laces Out Crew ….

Give me ONE good reason that Tim Tebow is not a quarterback in the NFL? Convince me that he is not better than the bottom 5 starting quarterbacks in the NFL. Please don’t feed me the standard garbage. Give me something based on his football career, his record, that if any other quarterback had (currently playing in the NFL) you would say that they can’t be a quarterback in the NFL.

Thank you

Hey, it’s Nadine again! You serious? Because I went over that in your previous email … fine let’s work it out. Let’s list all 32 teams and their probable starting QBs. Then we’ll see if we’d take Tebow over any of them.

1. Redskins: Robert Griffin III – NO
2. Giants: Eli Manning – NO
3. Cowboys: Tony Romo – NO
4. Eagles: — Michael Vick, Matt Barkley or Nick Foles – sorry, NO
5. 49ers: Colin Kaepernick – NO
6. Seahawks: Russell Wilson – NO
7. Rams: Sam Bradford – again, NO
8. Cardinals: Carson Palmer – still, NO
9. Packers: Aaron Rodgers – NO
10. Vikings: Christian Ponder – they just went to the playoffs, so NO
11. Bears: Jay Cutler – NO
12. Lions: Matthew Stafford – NO
13. Falcons: Matt Ryan – NO
14. Panthers: Cam Newton — NO
15. Saints: Drew Brees — NO
16. Buccaneers: Josh Freeman – NO
17. Patriots: Tom Brady – NO
18. Dolphins: Ryan Tannehill – NO
19. Jets: Been there, done that – NO
20. Bills: Just drafted EJ Manuel – NO
21. Broncos: Peyton Manning – NO
22. Chargers: Philip Rivers – NO
23. Raiders: Matt Flynn or Tyler Wilson – OK, maybe
24. Chiefs: Alex Smith – NO
25. Ravens: Joe Flacco – NO
26. Bengals: Andy Dalton – NO
27. Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger – NO
28. Browns: Brandon Weeden – Maybe
29. Texans: Matt Schaub – NO
30. Colts: Andrew Luck – NO
31. Titans: Jake Locker — believe it, NO
32. Jaguars: Blaine Gabbert, Matt Scott – YES

Let’s break down the maybe teams: The Raiders signed Matt Flynn this offseason. True, he’s unproven, but also once threw 6 TD passes in a game. Has Tim Tebow done that? No. Also, the Raiders just brought in Tyler Wilson via the draft. He’s a project that Oakland has invested in.

The Browns had all kinds of problems last season, Brandon Weeden being one of them. But he’s still a traditional dropback passer and the team just brought in quarterback guru Norv Turner as the new offensive coordinator. Weeden’s growth could take a leap this year and the Browns seem to want to give him that chance.

So, out of the 32 teams in the NFL, Tebow would be the unquestioned starter on one team: the Jaguars. For whatever reason, owner the Iron Sheik Shahid Khan doesn’t want him. What’s more, head coach Gus Bradley doesn’t seem to want him either. He’s a first-year guy who probably wants to make his own mark on the team. Can’t blame him.

SOL, Tim. And you’re welcome, Nadine. Keep your emails coming!

Theresa wrote,

WHY can’t we have a Super bowl Series…th best out of three? That way the fans can go to their super bowl because we could play one game at their home field each….. And If necessary. A third game on the field of choice picked like usual…
just think how exciting that will be…could go for two to three week period.. could cut back one Preseason game or two. Maybe even the Pro bowl…..baseball has series. Basketball has series. Even golf is best outta 3 or 4 games…….

Wow, you really like using ellipses, huh? However, to answer your question, this is why the Super Bowl will never be a series:

Did you see those hits? Brutal, right? The NFL season goes on way too long as is. Bodies break, muscles tear, brains are concussed. The Super Bowl is either the 19th or 20th game for the two teams that make it. And if you look closely, the rosters are usually moth-eaten to a certain extent. The players usually have nothing left in the tank and we always find out later that three or four of them were on the field with fairly severe injuries.

Here’s another thing to consider: Super Bowl Sunday is almost a national holiday. Even people who don’t like football will watch for the commercials, to see Beyonce perform a lascivious dance and to just have an excuse to grill and drink beer. If you come along with your series gibberish, that ruins all the magic.

You will have turned the Super Bowl, the cherished bastion of all that is right with capitalism (and democracy!), and turned it into the first round of the NBA playoffs, circa the 1980s. Shame! Shame on you, Theresa!

Rick Niners Giants Dwyer wrote,

Why is the media so heavy in their East Coast bias in reporting? West Coast teams in college and pros NEVER get their due!

Here we go. Dude, your comment is soooooo 2006. Plus, you’re a 49ers fan? They get all kinds of love from FOXSports.com (which for the record, is based in Los Angeles). Certain giant media conglomerates seem to focus on East Coast rivalries like Red Sox-Yankees, which has grown tiresome in recent years. Can we stop pretending that every time these two teams play is a highlight of the season? How many six-hour, foul-ball filled borefests do you expect us to sit through?

However, we very much agree with your thought of West Coast college teams getting the shaft. East coast media types (especially newspaper writers) tend to be 85 years old and can’t stay up past 6 p.m. without possibly soiling their trousers. They can’t be bothered to stay up and watch Stanford, Oregon, UCLA, USC, etc. They just check the box scores in the following morning’s paper (because they still don’t use computers) and go “Rabble! Rabble! Ala-bammy beat Lower Kentucky Middle School 86-3! Much better win than Stanford gutting out a win in Eugene.”

For the most part though? Nah, there’s no real bias. Get over yourself. And the Giants suck.

Charlene wrote,

What’s the latest on Victor Cruz…It’s like he vanished from the face of the earth? Ray…

Ummm, who is Ray? Were you trying to complete a thought? Did Ray attack you and prevent you from finishing an email? Charlene!!! Are you OK?!!?! Answer us!!

We hope you’re not dead, but to answer your question, you’re nuts! Victor Cruz is all over the place. Here he is doing another soup commercial:

Here he is doing something for Advil:

He has this holiday commercial, too:

That’s not enough for you? If not, don’t worry, he’ll be back in your life soon enough when training camps start at the end of July. In the meantime (if Ray hasn’t killed you yet), enjoy some of Victor’s salsa moves:


Let’s keep this mailbag firing on all cylinders. We’ll be back next Friday, so send more of your questions and comments to lacesoutmail@gmail.com