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Watch Bosh devour the competition
But until now, no one had taken the steps to analyze how Bosh the Actual Dinosaur would perform on the court.
Observe below, this YouTube simulation that offers a decent guess at how Bosh would look in the Heat lineup if he actually took on the form of a raptor. Suffice it to say, having an 8-foot flesh-eating beast on your side isn’t the worst thing in the world:
So, yeah, that’s awesome, but a couple thoughts: A) Why are Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant’s heads so big in the video? B) Why does Bosh becoming an actual dinosaur mean his jumper is so silky again? And C) Why is everyone not running away BECAUSE THERE’S A DINOSAUR ON THE COURT?!?
This commenter also makes a fair point:
Now, I hate to be a wet blanket, but it is at this point that I also feel obligated to point out that an actual velociraptor was roughly the size of your dog and probably wouldn’t pose much of a threat in a 1-on-1 situation, except for maybe popping the ball with its claws. He’d probably be behind Greg Oden on Miami’s depth chart.
But I hate to spoil the fun, so let’s just watch some Jurassic Park and pretend I never said anything: