Slim Thug recruits Dwight Howard

Everyone wants Dwight Howard's services. Rapper Slim Thug is doing his best to woo Howard to the Houston Rockets.

Dwight Howard never went to college, but he's still getting to experience the world of recruiting.

The Los Angeles Lakers tossed up a billboard to show their love for Dwight. The Dallas Mavericks are reportedly ready to make him the face of the franchise. And the Golden State Warriors have dispatched Stephen Curry to help in their pitch. But none of them have found as creative a niche as rapper Slim Thug, who is doing his best to woo Howard to the Rockets in his native Houston using a number of talking points.

On the difficulty of getting along with Kobe Bryant:

On the affordability of real estate, and ... umm ...:

On the availability of good gentlemen's clubs:

On the issue of child support payments:

On the price of alcohol (plus tip):

On the football-first, minimal-pressure fan base:

And, of course, reckless driving isn't quite as forbidden in Texas:

But ah! The plot thickens. How much can we really trust Slim Thug? Behold:

And sure enough:

Still, that's all an impressive argument, and he didn't even bust out the trump card — the lack of state income tax in Texas. Your move, Lakers.

Send feedback on our
new story page