Slim Thug recruits Dwight Howard
Dwight Howard never went to college, but he's still getting to experience the world of recruiting.
The Los Angeles Lakers tossed up a billboard to show their love for Dwight. The Dallas Mavericks are reportedly ready to make him the face of the franchise. And the Golden State Warriors have dispatched Stephen Curry to help in their pitch. But none of them have found as creative a niche as rapper Slim Thug, who is doing his best to woo Howard to the Rockets in his native Houston using a number of talking points.
On the difficulty of getting along with Kobe Bryant:
Yooo @DwightHoward what uppp gone come down to Houston G we got ya u already know Kobe gone act like a girl and blame u all season— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
On the affordability of real estate, and ... umm ...:
On the availability of good gentlemen's clubs:
On the issue of child support payments:
We both got babymamas @DwightHoward do u know that they only get 20% in Houston it's wayyyy worst in LA— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
On the price of alcohol (plus tip):
A bottle of rosé in a Houston club is $250 max in LA $1000 befo taxes and gratuity @DwightHoward— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
On the football-first, minimal-pressure fan base:
And @DwightHoward we got the Texans so not too much pressure on winning a ring this year we got time to grow u kno LA gone hate tho— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
And, of course, reckless driving isn't quite as forbidden in Texas:
And u can talk on the phone and text while u drive down here @DwightHoward— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
But ah! The plot thickens. How much can we really trust Slim Thug? Behold:
And sure enough:
I'm in LA right now but I'm still repping ðŸ˜Ž http://t.co/bprBZY9BT3— slim thug (@slimthugga) July 1, 2013
Still, that's all an impressive argument, and he didn't even bust out the trump card — the lack of state income tax in Texas. Your move, Lakers.