When NBA player Jason Collins came out as gay this spring, he
was lauded as a hero to a lot of people. One notable exception is
the shocked woman who thought she was going to be his wife.
That woman is named Carolyn Moos, and she has told her tale
(“Jason Collins is my Ex-Fiance”) of being engaged to Collins in
edition of Cosmopolitan.
Once she gets to the point, Moos says: “I empathize with Jason
and support him. But at the same time, I remain deeply hurt by him.
I wish he could have been honest with me years ago. I feel like
there are two Jasons now — the man I fell in love with and
the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a
pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest
with yourself and with those you love.”
So, yes, this ultimately is the letter of a jilted lover, but it
nonetheless paints a romantic picture of a young relationship and a
sad, confusing picture about its end.
Moos, 35, describes Collins as an easygoing romantic, saying she
fell in love with him when they were both playing basketball at
After what Moos felt was more than enough time dating, Collins
took a knee in 2008.
“I’ve been thinking about my life, what I want.” She says he
said. “I wanted to ask if you would marry me.”
By 2009, he had done some more thinking and called off the
Moos didn’t know why until this April, when he called her the
same day his coming-out piece in Sports Illustrated ran, and told
her he was gay.
“During all the years I had known him,” she wrote, “I never
would have guessed that he would come out as gay.”