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DIME SMACK: Gooden can't find Memphis

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foxsports admin

 
   
 
Happy Independence Day. You don't need us to tell you that today means more than ever this year. In case you missed it, we were mentioned in a front page article of yesterday's Wall Street Journal. ... A couple of rookie ballers will be ringing in today's holiday in style after signing multimillion-dollar deals with their teams yesterday. Highly touted hoopers Caron Butler and Kareem Rush are more juiced than any of the other rooks to punish all the teams that passed them by becoming the first two draftees to sign on the dotted line for Miami and Los Angeles, respectively. While these two did slip n' slide during the draft, now they're all set to take it to the house. Drew Gooden's game may be NBA-ready, but his geography sure isn't. When asked about visiting Graceland, Drew replied, "I didn't even know Elvis was from Memphis. I thought he was from Tennessee." Grizz fans, don't be hard on the former Jayhawk. He's probably still confused that Kansas City isn't in Kansas.
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Keeping up with the Johnson-Hancock-Phoenix ordeal, a lawsuit filed by Hancock charges that the coach failed a "practice" lie-detector test regarding sleeping with the sponsor's wife. Call off the search party, cancel the bloodhounds, stop running the milk carton profiles; we found former Arizona star Miles Simon. The off guard is slated to ball for the Atlanta in the Shaw Summer League in Boston in what is likely his last chance to stick with an NBA squad. The former Final Four MVP is fresh off a championship and an MVP season in the CBA, where he averaged 23 points per game and was the league's most accurate trifecta bomber. It's a bird, it's a plane; no, it's Wally's ego flying out of control. According to his agent, Szczczczczerbiak wants the max and deserves it after comparing him to others in this draft class. Funny, we don't recall any other malcontent ball hogs getting maxed out. In a game versus powerful Yugoslavia, Yao Ming dropped 27 points to lead China to victory at the Shuanglai tournament. Who cares? Until it happens on American soil against NBA players, it don't mean one damn thing. Remember that crazy situation with a hostage standoff at 's house a couple of months back? The man charged with sexually assaulting Camby's sister at knifepoint got booked for 18 years in prison. There was a good chance to sentence him to more years but Camby's sis wanted the whole ordeal over with as soon as possible. The have already expressed interest in acquiring to spell J-Kidd from time to time. Derrick Character, the first ever eighth-grader to be invited to Nike All-America Camp, finally committed to a high school yesterday. The 6-foot-8, 260-pound man-child will attend St. Patrick's in Elizabeth, N.J., to play for Kevin Boyle's perennial powerhouse. You know the names LeBron James and Sebastian Telfair. It's time to learn one more. We're out like Gooden from geography class.
Tagged: Hawks, Nets, Knicks, Suns

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