Do you have a moment to talk about Game Breakers Oscar Robertson? Like right now.
The short answer is “Yes. I have all the time.” Because it’s not every day you see 2K make a pack designed to destroy its own game.
Which brings us to Game Breakers, MyTEAM's latest Gems of the Game collection, a pack themed around some of the most purportedly unguardable players in NBA history. The idea seems to be that be that these cards will literally break the game they’re so good, which sounds like a challenge to me. So I tested them out.
Ruby Doug Christie
I’ve done enough MyTEAM pack reviews at this point that I can confidently say you can usually tell a lot about a pack’s bend and overall quality by looking at it’s lowest rated card, and ruby Doug Christie is ... pretty good.
He’s not juiced in any one category, but he feels tight on the floor and can make threes and get around defenders well enough.
Ruby Doug isn’t a panty-dropper. No rubies are at this point in the season. But he’s cheap and workable and surely quite the treat for all those Doug Christie fans out there who saw “Game Breakers” and knew their time had come.
Stats to know: Defensive Rebound (70), Lateral Quickness, Off-Dribble Three (71).
This content is subject to copyright.Toronto Star via Getty Images
Ruby Jason Richardson
Something to mollify those who missed out on the J-Rich reward and don’t want to spend 30,000 MT a pop on antique sapphires and settlement Kobe.
Stats to know: Vertical (92), Driving Dunk (95), Passing IQ (58).
Getty ImagesGetty Images
Ruby Jamal Crawford
The latest Jamal Crawford card, Game Breakers J-Crossover is the fourth Jamal Crawford card to hit MyTeam this year and builds upon its earlier ruby Jamal Crawford card with a ruby Jamal Crawford card.
But hey, Hall of Fame badge!
Stats to know: Speed (94), Speed with Ball (97), Lateral Quickness (61), Hustle (51).
Amethyst Connie Hawkins
Amethyst Connie Hawkins is a weird, unique cat.
He does pretty much everything, and as a small forward who can rebound, he’s basically a unicorn in MyTEAM. MyTEAM small forwards do not rebound. They run, dunk and miss midrange shots like it said in the Bible.
Amethyst Connie doesn’t miss midrange shots, and he's a great Swiss Army knife at the three with a ridiculous vertical and underwhelming strength as his only sin.
If you’re looking for a bully at the four who can throw grown men and leap tall pavement cracks in a single bound, I have good news.
Amethyst Karl Malone is here, and he will batter and trudge aggressively behind whoever you need him to. He is very strong, which makes him fun to bully with, but he is also very slow and very earthbound, and MyTEAM punishes sloth dearly.
Stats to know: Post Fadeaway (96), Strength (96), Vertical (50).
Amethyst Kenyon Martin
Sitting above the ho-hum lower tier and a statue of Karl Malone is amethyst Kenyon Martin — the first actual game-breaker we've discussed here.
If it’s basketball-related and it needs to be done, Game Breaker Kenyon Martin can do it. He knocks down threes, rebounds and can guard three through five with a lateral quickness shoe.
The only thing amethyst K Mart doesn’t do is make moving shots. That is the forbidden dance.
Stats to know: Offensive Rebound (97), Defensive Rebound (95), Vertical (92), Contested Three (41), Ball Control (43).
Diamond Yao Ming
Amethyst Yao Ming was already a cruel and unfair and covered about half of the court.
Diamond Yao is all that but with a pair of purple, HOF badge spinning rims.
Just be glad they didn’t give him a three-pointer.
Stats to know: Post Fadeaway (88), Open Mid-Range (96), Strength (90), Speed With Ball (25), Vertical (28).
Diamond Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
I’ve never been a big Kareem guy in MyTEAM, and this card is certainly a marginal bump from his amethyst Big Men card. It also has fewer total attribute points than amethyst DeMarcus Cousins, which you can get for a sandwich these days.
But I enjoyed this card. Diamond Kareem felt good on the floor and rebounded better than expected. If you need a finesse center, you could worse than Game Breaker Lew. And he’ll be cheap-ish soon. No one wants him in auction.
Stats to know: Post Hook (99), Post Fadeaway (94), Lateral Quickness (42), Vertical (60).
Diamond Bob Cousy
This is a ridiculous card. There is no reason for this card to be how it is.
Diamond Bob Cousy is basically the Hulk, but in the body of a man who looks like he sells limericks for a living. Cousy has 96 strength and can back down pretty much anyone in the paint, and with his price tag continuing to plummet due to kids not liking old people, he’s a steal at auction and absolutely disrespectful to his opponents in Blacktop.
A top shelf lockdown guard who might be the fastest player I’ve used in the game. And he’s definitely being overpriced.
Stats to know: Ball Control (95), Speed (95), Off-Dribble Mid-Range (95), Driving Dunk (42).
Diamond Michael Jordan
Heyyyyy...A Michael Jordan who can shoot. What a concept.
Diamond Michael Jordan is the first MJ card to hit MyTEAM that I’ve enjoyed. The earlier ones looked good, but on closer inspection turned out to just be Dwyane Wades with aftermarket spoilers on the back. This is no longer the case. Game Breaking Jordan can make it rain from anywhere, and is currently going for the price of college tuition at auction.
If you weren’t already lording over society with the earlier diamond Oscar Robertson card, MyTEAM brought in Game Breakers Oscar Robertson just to make sure.
Diamond Oscar Robertson is truly the closest thing we have to a real, actual game-breaker in MyTEAM. 2K throttled back his Intangibles to 55 total and he still has 4202 total attribute points —the most of any diamond card and almost 300 more than Team USA John Stockton, the reward you get for completing this set that’s supposed to be the pinnacle but isn’t because Oscar Robertson would just kill and eat him for his life force.
Stats to know: [Treasure chest opens to untold riches].
Diamond John Stockton
We could talk about seven HOF badges, but I’ve selected some comments left on diamond John Stockton’s card page over at 2KMTCentral, where 2K fans are roasting his card photograph to pieces:
“Finishing first in swim class lookin boy.”
“When you have picture day and you are an adult.”
"TDPresents looking ass."
Stats to know: Passing Accuracy (99), Passing IQ (99), Passing Vision (99), Speed (96), Off-Dribble Three (97).
Best value grabs at each tier
Ruby: Doug Christie
Amethyst: Kenyon Martin
Diamond: Bob Cousy
Overall Grade: B
Game Breakers is a putback dunk in that it both misses and flushes it home.
The biggest gripe are the repeated cards. Ten of the 12 players in Game Breakers have been featured in earlier Gems of the Game sets, and while some repeats are inevitable and forgivable, the world does not need more ruby Jamal Crawfords. We are at max Crawford in this game mode.
The bright side of Game Breakers is that there are a couple powerful and unique pieces that manage not to break the bank. Amethyst Kenyon Martin and Connie Hawkins are probably more fun than they should be to move around and experiment with on the floor, and diamond Bob Cousy is criminally attainable for what he offers.
In all, Game Breakers is familiar, safe and fun enough. This collection is Billy Joel cranking up “Piano Man” for the long-time fans. 2K played the hits and tuned up some of the mode’s most beloved player cards. And that’s fine. I just could’ve used a little more cowbell, and by cowbell I mean fresh faces.
Maybe instead of Return of the Crawf, a Game Breaker Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf could’ve sufficed? I hear he was like Steph Curry but better from deep if you watched him from inside Phil Jackson’s head.
Dan is on Twitter. He broke the game in his day, and by the game he means the controller while losing in FIFA.