What used to be a life filled with reading and friendship and sleep is now work, eat, scream at dudes who go side-to-side jacking threes with Steph Curry for an entire Blacktop match.
And it's a lot of fun, honestly.
The people at 2K Sports have mastered the art of incentivizing, and the pinnacle is 2K17's MyTeam mode.
In MyTeam, you play games, earn fake Internet currency and use it to buy and collect cards that give you access to more data packets players. You can also purchase 2K currency with real money, if you want your children to eat a lot of potted protein early in life.
As for the cards themselves, there are all kinds—player cards, shoe cards, "badges" that boost attributes. Some cards are special releases based on "Moments"—times when a player had a big game, inspiring a card specifically designed to reflect that performance.
Which brings us to these cards—15 cards that don't currently exist in NBA 2K17 (and never will), but should be in order to reflect the current NBA's climate and historical events.
Because you can't tell me Middle-Finger Philly Fan wasn't a "Moment."
Sapphire Boris Diaw "God Mode"
A card honoring the two or three games a year when Boris Diaw slips his mortal coil and ascends to a Zeus-like plane of existence where no shot is unhittable and carbs don’t count.
I assume 2K Sports and/or Adidas are sandbagging the release of a Yeezy shoe card for the game, because it's genuinely surprising they haven't capitalized on this.
Key Stats: Twitter (+9), Waves (+9), THaT Part (+9).
Ruby "Summer of the Savage" Vince Carter
Vince Carter at his hair-having, American-flag-du-rag-wearing best.
“Summer of the Savage” Vince Carter would be the most realistic MyTeam card to date depicting that three-month span that saw Vince Carter come the closest a real human being has ever come to going Super-Saiyan.