Shake and Bake NASCAR Blog 'Twas the night before Daytona, when all through the track ... Happy Daytona 500 Eve! In anticipation of Sunday's festivities, our always entertaining friend NASCAR Wonka joins us with a NASCAR bedtime story. Jared C. Tilton / Getty Images North America By NASCAR Wonka Feb 22, 2014 at 6:00p ET 'Twas the night before Daytona When all through the track Not a driver was stirring 'Cept for Kligerman who was still on his back. All the cameras were hung On their perches with care. In hopes that Clint Bowyer Would soon grab some air. The drivers were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of the Earl trophy danced in their heads. And Austin in his Stetson And Larson like Jr. High Had just settled in To discuss Landon's black eye. When out in the infield Arose a voice much like Siri. Austin sprang from his bed To hear the latest conspiracy theory. Away to the infield And without feelings of chagrin Austin dove head-first Like he does after a win. When, what to his wondering eyes should appear But an old man wearing a tin foil hat And trembling in fear. With a picture of a restrictor plate And a big rounded gut Austin knew in a moment it was another conspiracy nut. More nervous than a bubble driver And possessing no shame He shouted out the conspiracies And called them by name: "NASCAR is fixed! NASCAR is rigged! They predetermine the winner! The Lies! The stories! And don't forget Bowyer's a spinner! To the top of the chain, All the leaders will fall! The truth is out there I'm gonna reveal it all!" His eyes - how they glazed His foil how smooth. And Austin burst out laughing. I mean, what else could he do? He spoke lots of words Not a single one true, And Austin looked forward For him to be through. All of a sudden he stopped, And ran for the gate. The Conspiracy Club was meeting, And he didn't want to be late. But Austin heard him exclaim As he drove out of view, "Happy 500 to you, Austin, but the winner better not be you."