The history. The legacy. The bricks. Drivers love Indianapolis Motor Speedway so much, they want to kiss it. Can you imagine it any other way? Our always entertaining friend NASCAR Wonka has uncovered some failed alternatives to "kissing the bricks."
Getty ImagesAndy Lyons
Kiss the Mick?
He wouldn't get no satisfaction from it at all...
Getty ImagesMichael Hickey
Kiss my kicks?
Side note, those are pretty nice shoes Jeff Gordon is wearing. It’s a shame he has to trade them in and go barefoot (while standing on a stool) in the TV booth next year.
Getty ImagesRainier Ehrhardt
Speaking of new kicks...
Kyle Larson found a car that will win the Brickyard 400. It’s easy to assume he won’t make it through inspection, but NASCAR will likely be too busy looking for rogue water bottles to notice.
Getty ImagesRobert Laberge
Kiss the Buicks
Maybe if this was the early 1980s. We DON'T recommend busting out those acid washed jeans.
Focus on Sport/Getty ImagesFocus On Sport
Kiss the chicks
This one was vetoed by the WAGs faster than Bill Elliott at Talladega Superspeedway.
Getty Images for PlayboyJason Merritt
Kiss the Styx
Too bad. Would love to see Mr. Roboto battle Paul Menard for robot supremacy.
Kiss the Knicks
It's a shame this one didn't stick. As bad as they've been in recent years, the New York Knicks could use a little extra love.
Getty ImagesKevin C. Cox
Kiss the Chips
Um .... no.
Getty ImagesJason Smith
Kiss the broomsticks
Sorry, this is Indy ... not Pocono, Junior Nation.