WS awards: Red Sox win it all

The Boston Red Sox won the World Series Wednesday night with a
6-1 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals at Fenway Park, but it
wasn’t without the help of these fine award winners. Here’s your
best from Game 6.

Best program salesman: According to his hat, this
magazine flogger wants to party like it’s 1918. By the look of his
face, that means some sort of demonic witch party. And that’s a
party I would like to attend.

Best truck bed full of hay and skeletons: These
skeletons probably did party in 1918.

Best painted-on beard: Not everybody can grow one
and that’s OK.  Nobody can tell the difference anyway …

Best recurring face-painter: He’s back! And with a
completely new look. Now that the Red Sox won it all, it looks like
he might get that ride home after all.

Best banjo wielding by a member of the Dropkick
Jeff DaRosa during the group’s version of the
“Star-Spangled Banner.”

Best beating of chest after pounding a three-run triple off
the Green Monster:
Shane Victorino returned to the lineup
after missing the previous two games with a tight back. The only
thing “tight” in Game 6 was this blast that broke the game wide

Most confused owner of baseball team about to win the World
John Henry appears to be lost in the famous maze
of air ducts in Fenway Park. Yes, the very same ducts that
swallowed Stuffy McInnis in 1918. He made his way to field for the
postgame awards ceremony, but he’ll never remember how.

Best headbutt with first-base coach and best high-five to
former presidential candidate:
Two awards on one play.
Mike Napoli headbutts first-base coach Arnie Beyeler and Jacoby
Ellsbury high-fives Secretary of State John Kerry. I really wish it
was the other way around.

Best out of a pickle: It really wasn’t the
Cardinals’ night.

Most ornery pitcher about to face Matt Holliday with two
men out and a lead to protect:
John Lackey was very
convincing in a mound visit from Boston manager John Farrell, who
seemed ready to pull the starting pitcher. Lackey stayed in the
game, but … he walked Holliday and was pulled immediately,
leaving the bases loaded.

Best World Series celebration: Only one real
choice here.

Best opening of gate by man who was made famous by another
man falling over wall in an attempt to rob a home run:

Release the hounds!

Happy World Series everybody. See you next year.