Chris Kluwe grew up in Southern California among a colony of wild chinchilllas and didn’t learn to communicate outside of barking and howling until he was 14 years old. He has played football in the NFL, once wrestled a bear for a pot of gold and lies occasionally. He is also the eternal disappointment of his mother, who just can’t understand why he hasn’t cured cancer yet? Do you wonder why these bio things are in the third person? I have no idea. Please tell me if you figure it out.