Still struggling to find that perfect gift -- or any gift -- for the impossible-to-buy-for baseball fan on your list? We feel your pain. And we'd like to help ... if only we could magically turn these dreams into reality:
MLB Photos via Getty ImagesMark Cunningham
Tickets to Rougned Odor-Jose Bautista II
This much anticipated rematch will be featured on the undercard of Conor McGregor-Floyd Mayweather. All proceeds go to Texas' free-agent fund in hopes that it will sign Joey Bats.
Fort Worth Star-Telegram/TNS via Getty ImagesRichard W. Rodriguez
Dallas Keuchel stick-on beard
Ideal for the prepubescent Amish kids in your community, or for your favorite Yankee player who doesn’t want to violate the franchise’s facial hair policy.
USA TODAY SportsTroy Taormina
Washington Nationals outfielder evolution chart
On the far left, you see the fully evolved Jayson Werth, complete with the beard and flowing locks. Then there’s the transitional phase -- characterized by eye black -- modeled by Bryce Harper. And, finally, the early stages of development of the still-anonymous bat boy, whose hair follicles are protected by a temporary hard shell.
Getty ImageRob Carr
Customized Kate Upton outrage tweets
Upset you didn’t get that promotion? Tired of your contributions getting completely overlooked in your softball league? Let Kate Upton hilariously and emphatically state your case. (Available in PG, PG-13 and R versions.)
Getty ImagesGeorge Pimentel
Kyle Hendricks ‘emotionless chip’
Hoping to sneak a little white lie past your significant other? Trying not to bust out laughing during a company-wide meeting? Desperately attempting to sell your excuse for speeding to a state trooper? Hendrickson’s ice-cold persona – you can’t tell if the dude is tossing a no-hitter or just gave up a three-run bomb – would be perfect.
USA TODAY SportsDennis Wierzbicki
Carlos Beltran's hair Sharpie
Remember when the slugger mysteriously went from bald to ... this ... in the span of four days in August? That rare cosmetology/sketching combo is just one of the reasons the Astros were so eager to sign him to that $16 million deal.
‘Pumping up with the Panda’ workout video
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before, but Pablo Sandoval reportedly is in the best shape of his life. However, this time it might be true, based on the video of his offseason workouts. Expect more busting it down the line and fewer busted belts in 2017.
USA TODAY SportsDan Hamilton
The Marc Rzepczynski spell-check program
The perfect gift for the Seattle Mariners equipment manager on your shopping list.
'Get out of jail free' card
A thoughtful present for your favorite field-stormer. Because you’ve always wanted to celebrate a no-hitter with the players -- but you've never wanted to pay that bothersome trespassing fine and spend the night in the slammer.