Rotation mates for five seasons in Detroit, the three right-handers topped the Cy Young Award talk Wednesday: Scherzer easily won the NL prize, Porcello edged out Verlander for the AL honor.
"That's just the weird thing about these," said Scherzer, who ruled the majors with 284 strikeouts and topped the NL with 20 wins for Washington. "It's the voting."
Porcello led baseball with 22 wins for Boston, and had a 3.15 ERA.
Porcello won despite getting just eight of the 30 first-place votes from members of the Baseball Writers' Association of America -- this was the first time the AL Cy winner didn't get the most firsts.
Verlander went 16-9 with a 2.40 ERA while leading the AL in strikeouts and other categories. He got 14 first-place votes, but didn't draw as much support across the board -- he was left off two ballots, too.
Overall, Porcello won 137-132 in the second-closest vote since 1970 (Verlander lost by four points to David Price in 2012).
Voters list their five picks in order. A first-place vote is worth seven points, four for second, three for third, two for fourth and one for fifth. Verlander needed to pick up five more points to match Porcello.
Upton fired off three tweets, one of them rather saucy, telling Porcello "you didn't win."
Asked whether he was bothered by the brouhaha, Porcello simply said, "No, I honestly don't care."
"I'm not the one who made the decision," he said on a conference call.
Porcello got a $100,000 bonus for winning the Cy. Verlander, who won the 2011 award, would've gotten $500,000 for this win.
Porcello bounced back from going 9-15 in his first season with the Red Sox, finishing 22-4 for the AL East champs.
He shared this last win of 2016 with those who "never wavered" in their support, admitting, "It was hard not to start bawling and crying."
Cleveland's Corey Kluber was third and got three first-place votes. Baltimore reliever Zach Britton, who went 47 for 47 on save chances with a 0.54 ERA, had five first-place votes and was fourth.
Scherzer breezed, drawing 25 first-place votes to beat out Chicago Cubs teammates Jon Lester and Kyle Hendricks.
Scherzer became the sixth pitcher to earn the Cy Young in both leagues. After earning the AL honor in 2013 with the Tigers, Scherzer joined Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, Gaylord Perry and Roy Halladay as winners in both leagues.
This award, Scherzer said, meant even more than the first one.
"It just verifies everything I try to achieve," he said.
Scherzer posted a record-tying 20-strikeout performance for the NL East champion Nationals, a year after he threw two no-hitters in his first season with Washington.
"I want to find a way to be better," he said.
Scherzer is the first pitcher from a Washington franchise to win a Cy Young. The award was first presented in 1956.
Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw got three first-place votes and finished fifth. Jose Fernandez, the Miami star killed in a boating accident in September, was seventh.
The final major postseason awards will be presented Thursday when the MVP honors are announced.
Cubs slugger Kris Bryant, Washington's Daniel Murphy and newly presented Rookie of the Year Corey Seager of the Dodgers are up for the NL award. Mike Trout of the Angels, Mookie Betts of the Red Sox and Jose Altuve of the Astros are the AL contestants.