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'Bama needs one half to win

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Lisa Horne

Lisa Horne is entering her fifth year as a correspondent for FOXSports.com. She is a member of the Football Writers of America Association (FWAA) and a frequent guest on sports radio shows. Follow her on Twitter.

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Let's start off with some congratulations and then take our weekly swan dive into the pool of college football wackiness.

Houston quarterback Case Keenum is now the proud owner of the label, "That Guy." Keenum broke Hawaii quarterback Tim Chang's FBS record of 16,910 total offensive yards with 3:56 left in the first quarter against Marshall.

NICE GEAR

New-style or old-style, uniforms and helmets were the talk of the town. Here are some of the most distinctive.

Michigan State beat Wisconsin 37-31. There are no words to describe the last ten seconds of the game, but Doug Flutie's Hail Mary pass against Miami is as close as it gets. With the game tied in regulation, Spartans quarterback Kirk Cousins heaved it more than 50 yards on a rocket play, the ball gets bobbled, then lands in the hands of Spartans receiver Keith Nichol. It took an official's review to reverse the call on the field and declare it a touchdown. The Spartans' nasty defense was as good as advertised — they didn't allow Wisconsin to score in two quarters of the game. If only Michigan State can carry that emotion to next Saturday's contest at Nebraska. If only.

Boise State barely beat Air Force 37-26. In any BCS conference, a win is a win, but when you play in the Mountain West, it's a loss, especially with those new home jerseys. Leave it to Boise State to try and get UGLY uniforms back to being popular. No really, these are really ugly, not cool-UGLY like some of the Ducks' unis.

Arkansas almost got Nutted by Ole Miss. It was ugly. The Razorbacks won 29-24 and Ole Miss, after its 15 minutes of "almost-an-upset" fame on Saturday, can now slink back into obscurity.

And speaking of slinking back to obscurity, we'd like to remind Kansas football fans that their basketball game against Pittsburgh State is in less than two weeks. Final: Kansas State 59, Kansas 21.

On to the beat downs of the week.

Alabama doesn't like playing football in the first half. We don't get it at all, but the Crimson Tide just look so average until they come alive in the second half. A 6-6 score in the first half? Against Tennessee? The Tide ended up winning — of course — 37-6 after Nick Saban probably hugged the team at halftime, asked if their boo-boos needed some warm fuzzies and then passed out homemade brownies.

TCU won 69-0 over New Mexico. The Lobos netted 85 total yards and five first downs. Can we bring back former head coach Mike Locksley? Wait … would he take the job back?

LSU made the Auburn Tigers look like helpless two-day-old orphaned cubs. Auburn was in it in the first quarter, down 7-3, but LSU scored 35 unanswered points in the second half and cruised to 45-10 victory. Yes, it's true — Les Miles had an ably-manned team ready to go and it looks like Jordan Jefferson has won himself back the starting quarterback position. He's got two weeks to mess this whole thing up again.

If you didn't get a chance to watch UCLA play at Arizona on Thursday night, here's what you missed in the 48-12 spanking by Arizona: The Bruins had a week and a half to prepare for a 1-5 Pac-12 team whose coach was fired last week. And after one half of play, the score was Arizona 42 UCLA 7. Obviously, the best entertainment didn't come from the beat down but from a fan who dressed up as a referee and ran on to the field to call a time out. When Pac-12 officials noticed he wasn't one of their own — his capri-length pants probably gave him away — he took off running, stripping down to his red-trimmed tighty-whiteys.

Ironically, the streaker out-rushed the Bruins' entire offense by about 13 yards and matched their touchdown total (1). A bench-clearing brawl ensued before the half ended resulting in two immediate ejections — UCLA's Taylor Embree as well as Arizona's Shaquille Richardson. Yes, that's the same Mr. Richardson who was released from his letter of intent at UCLA after being charged with suspicion of felony theft last year. Well done, gentlemen.

If UCLA doesn't think this loss had any impact on future or past recruits, think again.

A Cal commit tweeted this: "@BryceTreggs: UCLA sent me an email telling me to watch the game. Well I'm watching it. Haha."

The Oklahoma Sooners also got a beat down from Texas Tech at Norman, Okla., but the score didn't really reflect it. The Red Raiders owned the Sooners' defense — it was a shock to the system unless you're used to the Sooners failing to win the big games. Then it's status quo. FINAL: Texas Tech 41 Oklahoma 38. Guns Up.

USC against Notre Dame started out in a shocking way with USC pushing the Irish front seven all over the place. The game also got a tad chippy after a couple of no-calls. A pass interference should've been called on USC but wasn't. A USC running back appeared inbounds but was called out. The game was officiated by a Pac-12 crew. Is that good or bad? With 4:09 left in the second quarter, USC called a timeout and these words rang out over the stadium in South Bend: "Timeout, UCLA."

After the game, linebacker Chris Galippo had a few choice words for Notre Dame. "They just quit," he said. "And that's what Notre Dame football is about. They're not anything like USC." It should be noted that Galippo is a redshirt senior which means next year, he won't have to back up those haunting words.

Clemson won 59-38 against North Carolina in a game that featured three rare occurrences. Clemson defensive end Kourtnei Brown scored two touchdowns — one on an interception and one on a fumble return — and quarterback Tajh Boyd threw for five touchdowns tying a school record. The third rare occurrence? Clemson is 8-0 and en fuego.

Stanford continues to roll over their opponents — this week's victim was Washington — and nobody notices nor cares. Watch them drop in the polls again this week. Obviously, the bots must still think Jim Harbaugh is coaching.

I'm out like Rick Neuheisel's contract in December.

Tagged: Clemson, Michigan State, Arizona, UCLA, USC, LSU, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Kansas, Houston

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