It's Christmas in February, the SEC coaches elementary school photo was just tweeted out by @sec_chuck
I always love this photo because it brings the most powerful men in Southern sports into one awkward 4th grade class photo. How do they decide on a seating arrangement? Who stands next to who? Recall last year's photo when Gene Chizik and Nick Saban were standing next to each other with a large gap between them. The picture truly spoke a thousand words.
As always, I attempt to find awkward things in the photo and then y'all point out what I leave out.
1. Will Muschamp appears to have stolen Gene Chizik's leather jacket from last season.
I'm praying that there's a large interlocking UF on the back in blue and orange.
2. Gene Chizik is wearing a sling on his left arm.
Did an energy vampire sneak up on Gene?
Or perhaps this was inflicted by Muschamp in taking the leather jacket? If so, golf clap, it would be the only SEC victory over a coach with a winning record in Muschamp's coaching careeer.
3. Hugh Freeze is the only front row coach to cover his crotch this year.
In last year's version everyone but Dan Mullen covered their crotches.
Also, Freeze is wearing an Ole Miss coaches polo. Otherwise everyone would think he was Phil Mickelson's stunt double.
4. Bobby Petrino appears to be wearing three layers of shirts under his suit coat.
This makes perfect sense because otherwise Petrino's cryogenic heart would freeze.
Also, it's no surprise that Petrino's adam's apple is covered by a turtle neck since all predatory animals -- and Dwight Shrute from "The Office" -- view exposing the adam's apple as a sign of weakness.
5. Les Miles wore brown shoes with navy socks.
He also appears to be wearing shoulder pads in the photo.
Neither of these things is surprising.
6. SEC commissioner Mike Slive is the only man touching another man.
His hands lightly rest on Steve Spurrier's shoulders.
In related news, Alabama fans have already inundated the SEC office with "your gay" emails addressed to the Commissioner.
7. The Mississippi State coaches sweater that Dan Mullen is wearing has a zipper.
Of course it does.
Buttons are bi-curious in Mississippi. Of course, so is literacy.
8. Gene Chizik is wearing a warm-up from Auburn's 1986 men's basketball program.
Just when you thought there was no way Chizik, who last year wore his AU leather jacket in this photo, could make a worse fashion decision for the class photo, he does.
Has Mrs. Chizik just given up with him? (Note, my wife says she's given up on me too).
9. Missouri's Gary Pinkel looks like he stole the valet's jacket just before this picture was taken.
You're in Birmingham, not the Arctic, Gary, I think you'll survive without the goose down.
10. Eleven of the 14 coaches wore jackets -- I'm counting Chizik's warm-up -- but neither man from Mississippi did.
This was entirely predictable as well. I'm just glad both men remembered shoes.
11. Mark Richt is the only coach with his hands in his pockets.
Richt also has no coat.
And look closely at him, he appears to be whispering, "Happy Valentine's Day," to your wife.
12. If you start counting in the top left and finish counting in the far right, Derek Dooely is 15th.
Which is also where he ranks on a list of the 14 best coaches in the SEC.
Finally, SEC Chuck also Tweeted out this photo of Missouri's Gary Pinkel and Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin being united in holy matrimony.