"This is the guy with the tattoo. I'm not really sure how to approach this."
Meet Calvin N., a senior majoring in business at Texas A&M. What's the story behind the butt tattoo that has taken the Internet by storm? Dive in.
Our ass tattoo story begins in the preseason, as all ass tattoo stories do, when Calvin, a lifelong A&M fan who began attending games with his family when he was a young kid, made a bet with his roommates. See, Calvin wasn't very optimistic in the pre-season about A&M's chances in the Aggies first year in the SEC. So he bet his roommates that the Aggies would lose at Alabama. Their bet? The roommates put up $100 if Bama won and Calvin promised that if A&M beat Bama, "I'd get a tattoo of the score on my ass."
"It seemed like a pretty good bet," Calvin said. Although he was a bit worried since, "I honestly hate tattoos."
Fast forward to Saturday.
The bet, which hadn't received much attention since it was made, was still a bit of an afterthought. A&M was, after all, a 14 point underdog playing on the road against the defending national champions. Then the Aggies jumped out to a 20-0 lead. Calvin's thoughts? "Oh, crap, I bet an ass tattoo about this."
Moments after A&M's win, his cell phone rang, his roommate was on the other end, "It's time to pay up," he said.
Calvin's no bet welcher.
"I'm an honest guy," Calvin said, "I made the bet so I was going to pay up."
So the group went to a local College Station tattoo parlor. Just before walking in the door, Calvin's phone rang again. It was his dad, also an Aggie grad, wanting to chat about the big win. Calvin's response? "I can't talk right now, Dad, I'm about to get a tattoo."
Inside the tattoo parlor Calvin drew up what he wanted the tattoo to say -- "I put the apostrophe in the wrong place. That's my only regret." -- dropped his pants, and waited for the needle to meet his right butt check.
About fifteen of his buddies crammed into the tattoo parlor, cheering and laughing hysterically as the tattoo was inscribed.
Thirty minutes later, it was done.
Embedded on his butt cheek.
The biggest win in Aggie football history.
Almost immediately pictures of the tattoo began appearing on the Internet. Calvin went straight from the tattoo parlor to Northgate -- a bar district near campus -- where he pulled down his pants and posed for pictures with the tattoo. After a night of revelry celebrating A&M's win, Calvin woke up the next morning and his first thought was, "Why is my butt hurting so bad?"
Then he remembered the tattoo. ("It's still throbbing today," he said.)
His second thought was, what are my parents going to think?
So he called them. "My dad was pumped, he's an Aggie. My mom thought it was hysterical."
Asked how girls on campus had responded to the tattoo, Calvin replied, "I get about half telling me I've got a sexy ass. The other half say I need to shave." So far no players or coaches have commented on the tattoo, but I'm betting that's about to change as well.
The legend of the tattoo, which has already achieved celebrity status on campus, continues to grow. "The hype has only gotten bigger," said Calvin on Monday night, as he studied for a finance exam. Calvin, who has a 3.6 gpa in his business major, is in the process of searching for his first job. "I'm not sure how the ass tattoo will sound at job interviews," he explained when we decided not to use his last name for this article. (Given the number of Aggie fans reading this article, I bet it plays pretty damn well).
But for now Calvin said the win over Alabama was, "The greatest night of my life," and his only regret had been that some on the Internet thought he was an Alabama fan. "Trust me," he said, "I am not an Alabama fan. I'm the bigggest A&M fan someone can be."
Calvin's college bet provides yet more evidence, as if we needed any at all, of how quickly a bet with a few buddies can go viral in today's Internet age.
Sounding like Confucius with a butt tattoo, Calvin opined, "The interesting this is, I wanted the tattoo to be on the ass so nobody would see it and because I put it on my ass everybody has seen it."