Pat Robertson Prophesies Peyton Manning Injury After Tebow Trade
1. A Plague of Gayness
Men will be fornicating with other men in the streets!
Plus, gayness will become airborne in the Mile High City.
When it was pointed out to Robertson that Denver was not on the coast, Robertson nodded and replied, "God spared them because of prayer."
3. Bibles will turn in to Korans.
And the Korans will explode when they are opened.
And the explosions will make people gay.
4. Nuclear assault.
North Korea's Kim Jong-Un has become quite the Tim Tebow fan. And if there's one thing that Kim Jong-Un doesn't like -- aside from being a chubby short man presiding over a country where millions are dying of famine -- it's Tim Tebow being disrespected.
A nuclear North Korea spells the end of Denver.
5. Barack Obama will be reelected president.
The horror, the horror!
6. There will be abortions on every street corner in Denver.
If you struggle to comprehend how this would be possible, that's Satan controlling your mind.
All Bronco fans, not content with merely being Bronco fans, will have sex with horses.
If you think most people don't want to sleep with horses, Pat Robertson disagrees.
8. Those watching Tim Tebow on television in New York will turn to salt.
And then the salt will be used as by the devil on his margaritas.
And when the devil is drunk he will urinate on Denver and the city will flood.
9. The Oakland Raiders, the Devil's favorite team, will win the division.
And Sebastian Janikowski will steal every wife in Denver and make them his Mile High harem.
10. Frogs will fall from the heavens and cover all the land.
The only thing worse than frogs falling from the heavens?
Gay frogs falling from the heavens.
Which these will be.